Week 4 Recap!

Afternoon Gentlemen,

Anyone else feel like we've entered the bizarro NFL?  I mean, players like Trent Richardson and Larry Donnell scoring tons of points while Tom Brady, Reggie Bush, and Lesean McCoy all do next to nothing?

Not to mention the breakout of players that weren't selected in the first two rounds, and the absolute crap fest that has been most of the first two rounds this year.  Andrew Luck as the #1 fantasy QB?  Demarco Murray as #1 fantasy RB (sure he was taken in the first round, good job Yuriy).  This NFL is a strange place to be, and fantasy makes for a strange way to show off all the little inconsistencies.

Anyway, week 4 is done with.  There was a ton of points going around for most people, and then there was also a ton of luck on the side of a few (HOW DID I WIN?).  The only undefeated team left is one Cobb Thomas (Jake's team), and he doesn't even have two real RBs.  Go figure.  Anyway, watching the games has left me with this:  if you think you know what's going to happen you probably aren't a coach in the NFL, and if you are a coach in the NFL you probably don't know much about playcalling.

P.S. Raiders lost their head coach Dennis Allan due to extreme negligence to his starting QB as the man is limping and DA just looks on non-caring.  So expect the Raiders to be better after the bye (they can't get much worse).

CHART MADNESS!!!

Top Points For:

1. I Pitta Da Fool - 593 points
2. Demarius Derp! ! - 592 points
3. Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood - 575 points

Top Points Against:

1. Team FlutteringHorde - 594 points against
2. Demarius Derp! ! - 582 points against
3. Colonel Sanders - 557 points against

Compared to last week the top 2 points for teams remain the same (despite I Pitta Da Fool losing), but Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood has passed up Cobb Thomas for that 3 spot.  Remember though this is a marathon, not a sprint.  With 9 weeks left to decide who wins it all, we have a long way to go.

CLASIFICACIONES DE POTENCIA

Game of the Week:

Freedom 35 loses to  Full Metal Jacket 90 to 92.

(James Jones of Oakland Raiders)

In a game that came so far into the week that mostly everyone had turned off their TVs and given up on the Patriots, my team pulled out a miraculous win despite Tom Brady doing everything he could to make me lose.  With the highest scoring player on my team being a nice 14 points from the gentleman above, I managed to overcome Stafford's 29 and Forsett's 18 despite my best efforts to lose.

A lot of things had to go right here, I had to have the consistent Bradshaw and Gronk score touchdowns, I had to have Calvin Johnson decide not to play, and I needed Yaro's team to just completely suck everywhere else.  Good news for me.  With totally underwhelming production from my QB and first 2 draft picks, I managed to still win, keeping me away from that dreaded 1-3.  It was glorious, especially because I believed that I had lost until I checked the scores at 1 am last night.

Thanks team :).

BOLD PREDICTIONS TIME

I'm going to write this all in bold, because this is the bold predictions segment, brand new.

Yaro's prediction:

                           "I predict lesean McCoy will be broken once and for all this Sunday"

                                  You weren't wrong but that post brought karma on your ass. 

Jared's prediction:

                           "I predict Steve Smith will injure 2 corner backs who try to cover him this weekend"

                                  He didn't need to, he did beast up a game, but you didn't post any stats...

Alex's prediction:

                           "Vjax goes 6rec/107yds/1TD"

                                  3 for 32 with 1 TD.  Not bad, I mean at least the TD was right.

Val's prediction:

                           "Andrew luck with 350 yards and 3 td"

                                 393 yards, 4 tds and 1 int.  Close, but don't doubt your dude.  Not super bold.

My prediction:

                           "Stevie Johnson to get a receiving TD and 5+ receptions for SF this week"

                                1 reception, 12 yards and a TD.  I shoulda just stopped after TD.

VAL WINS PREDICTIONS.

(GET MORE BOLD NEXT TIME

EVERYBODY).

Good luck week 5, to everyone but Alex.

Week 3 Recap!

 

Hey guys.


The NFL is not getting any more predictable, and players are finding way to be inconsistent.  I don't know about you guys, but when the two people I should have taken out of my lineup are my first two round draft picks that have been killing it this far, I count the week off.  What is it all going to be like going forward?  Should we not only have injury lists but also suspension lists?  God forbid one of your main guys goes the way of Adrian Peterson (sorry Ricardo, I know AD went the way of AD for you).  I think give it a couple of weeks and instead of all this suspension and random bollocks we'll be talking about how crazy it is that the Raiders have won 4 in a row and the Broncos have traded away Manning to the Dolphins.  One can hope.

Performance wise, week 3 wasn't a gaping hole of despair.  We had some incredibly strong showings by the Falcons (BOOM TB is done), The Giants beat down Houston (Eli didn't even throw a pick 6), the Seahawks beat the Broncos (Peyton sucks), and of course the Chargers are undefeated.  Julio Jones blew up this week(of course he did! Punk ass) as did almost all Falcons players, Andrew Luck is looking like he might be the highest scoring QB at the end of this season, and Eddy Lacy cannot catch a break (or run for 100 yards).  It's been strange so far, but as long as your team does not get hit by crazy suspensions and injuries feel lucky and in charge.

Anyway, let's talk about our league for a few moments. 

CHART MADNESS!

Top Points For

1. I Pitta Da Fool - Gomez (422 points)
2. Demarius Derp! ! - Yedinak (408 points)
3. Cobb Thomas - Jake (397 points)

Top Points Against

1. Team Fluttering Horde - Ricardo (470 against)
2. Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood - D Smith (417 against)
3. Demarius Derp! ! - Yedinak (411 against)

Do we think that this sort of production can be sustained?  Now I'm doubtful, seeing as these 3 weeks have been strange, but who knows maybe this is the new way the NFL will be.  Letting Gomez win and shitting on Ricardo.  Who knows?

TIME FOR SOME POWER RANKINGS.

  

Game of the Week:

     Last week in this spot I put a voting mechanism, it didn't work.  The vote ended with like 6 total votes.  So I'm just gonna go back to writing this out.  Again, if any of you losers feels like writing something let me know, I strongly encourage it.  ALSO JAKE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SHIT TALKING VIDEOS?  3-0, LAST YEARS WINNER AND NOT ONE VIDEO.  BACK YOUR SHIT UP.

Anyway, I digress.  

Demarius Derp! ! loses to Ruckers Rip Some Lips 129 to 132.

     

(Funny pictures of FJAX are impossible to find).

Yuriy, I thought I told you that Welker is a must start over Demaryius every week.  So this one was a lot closer than it should have been I think.  Martellus Bennett put up some big points for Yuriy last night bringing the game close.  3 point victories and losses are tough, too close to feel completely amazing about (JK a wins a win),or just far out enough to crush your spirit.

Yuriy, clearly Demaryius is an awful player, you should probably trade Demarco and Demaryius for someone good like Brandon Marshall.  But who can blame you for starting that lineup, nobody except the fantasy gods that deemed it fit for you to lose.

Dad, I'll never understand why Hyde is on your bench and Lacy is in your starting lineup.  Of course that's sarcasm, but at this point it could be true.  But good job, aside from Alex Smith doing great for whatever reason, you started the right lineup and won.  Congrats.

Week 2 Recap!

I'm happy to be back posting these.  I was having withdrawals of writing.  I was thinking, as I sat there and browsed over the ESPN app on my phone, jeez everyone is going to do amazingly.  Lo and behold, about 45 minutes into the first game the score between me and Val had a total of 22 points.  This week was insane, everyone expected to perform big, definitely fell short.  The Vikings showed that they are still just the same team that can't make a playoff run without Favre, the 49ers let Brandon Marshall catch anything he wanted, and the Saints showed that they really believe in the Browns.  Anyway, despite my dislike for my division (I love you guys, but hate your teams), Alex and Yaro are both doing well, meanwhile Val only scored like 50 points.  But there are excuses.

Week 2 was a pretty bad week, I think it'll probably go down as this season's Sunday, Bloody Sunday.  Injuries injuries galore.  For example, a list (not my own):

QB:

• RG3 (ankle); Out for: Season? Backup: Kirk Cousins
• Carson Palmer (shoulder); Out for: ? Backup: Drew Stanton

RB:

• Jamaal Charles (ankle); Out for: 4-6 weeks; Backup: Knile Davis
• Knowshon Moreno (elbow); Out for: 4-8 weeks; Backup: Lamar Miller
• Lamar Miller (ankle); Out for: ? Backup: Damien Williams
• Mark Ingram (hand); Out for: 1 month; Backup: Pierre Thomas/Khiry Robinson
• Doug Martin (knee); Out for: should be back for TNF; Backup: Bobby Rainey
• Ryan Mathews (knee); Out for: 4-5 weeks; Backup: Donald Brown, Danny Woodhead
• Ben Tate (knee); Out for: 2-4 weeks; Backup: Terrence West
• MJD (hand); Out for: ?; Backup: Darren McFadden, Latvius Murray
• Deangelo Williams (thigh); Out for: ? Backup: Jonathan Stewart
• Adrian Peterson (child abuse); Out for: ? Backup: Matt Asiata (listed by request)

WR:

• AJ Green (toe); Out for: back Week 5; Backup: Mohamed Sanu
• Desean Jackson (shoulder); Out for: ?; Backup: Andre Roberts
• Mike Evans (injury?); Out for: ?; Backup: Chris Owusu
• Eric Decker (hamstring); Out for: ; Backup: Jeremy Kerley, David Nelson
• Tavon Austin (MCL); Out for: 2 weeks; Backup: Stedman Bailey
• Allen Hurns (knee); Out for: Day to Day; Backup: Allen Robinson
• Julio Jones (ankle); Out for: Day to Day, should be fine Thurs; Backup: Devin Hester
• Roddy White (hamstring); Out for: ?; Backup: Harry Douglas

TE:

• Vernon Davis (ankle); Out for: ?; Backup: Vance McDonald / Derek Carrier
• Jordan Cameron (shoulder); Out for: Week 3-5 (need reliable source) ; Backup: Gary Barnidge
• Jordan Reed (hamstring); Out for: ?; Backup: Niles Paul
• Marcedes Lewis (ankle); Out for: 6-8 weeks; Backup: Clay Harbor, Mickey Shuler
• Tyler Eifert (elbow); Out for: till week 10; Backup: Jermaine Gresham

So clearly a lot of players are made out of glass.  Coincidence that this happens right before HGH testing?  I think so.

No onto what everyone actually cares about!  

CHART MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!

Top Points For:

1. TIE between I Pitta Da Fool and Mister Rodger's Neighborhood (301 points)
2. Freedom 35 (286 points)
3. Demarius Derp! ! (279 points)

Top Points Against:

1. Mister Rodger's Neighborhood (344 points against)
2. Team FlutteringHorde (327 points against)
3. Greenbowl Packers (287 points against).

Power Rankings:

Game of the Week!

Week 1 Recap!

The first week of the season is always one much anticipated, nerves and jitters everywhere. Will my players perform? Will they be injured? Who's starting RB for the Dolphins? 

Now 6 teams are looking for an undefeated season, while 6 others are hoping to make them feel bad. The season is not own or lost the first week, but it sure feels like it. 

Good luck! 

Now for the weekly recap presented by our own Orest Yaslinskiy 

Week 1 

Game 1 Sunday Morning Woodhead 89 VS The Peirres Switch Project 133 

Keyon will be proud of my fight. Me.. Not so much. Going into the game I thought I had a chance to upset the reigning Champion with my GRADE F squad but that was not meant to be as I stumbled out of the gates. Jake’s team, led by Payton Mannings 28 points took the lead midway through Sunday afternoon, just as my Woodhead was fading, and never looked back. After all was said and done I was saddened by the fact that I actually thought I had a chance. I know it was week 1 and everyone has expectations and fantasies of hoisting the Shiva at the end of the year but the draft grade prophecy looks half way fulfilled already and I am already planning for next year. 

Player who shit the bed: Ruben Randle WR New York Giants. 2 receptions on 3 targets for 1 yard. My bad for believing that the Giants had actually improved! Maybe Eli and Ruben can take something from the Spartans, Bang it out in the bedroom and hopefully form a decent partnership. 

Game 2 Full Metal Jacket 124 Wematnye 129 

Going into this matchup I imagine that The Great Commissioner Nick thought he had an easy win going against The Taco of our league in Mr Yuriy wematanye Yadenik, who drafted Josh Gordan in the 6th round. Nick jumped out to an early Thursday night lead when Russel Wilson Put up 21 points along with Harvins 16 but even though Yuriy started Tony Romo and had a poor outing by Demaryius Thomas he somehow pulled out a win. My guess? Voodoo magic. Pass that alligator foot over here will yeah Yuriy? I can use some luck. 

Player who shit the bed: Maurice Jones-Drew RB Raiders. I know Tony Romo had a horrid game but Jones-Drew only mustered up 4 points! Romo had 6 more points then this shifty (Shitty) running back, who once was a PPR monster but is now a PPR Dud. Every year Nick’s hope in Raiders is renewed by the fantay football Gods but every year they let him down, this year looks to be the same. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW NICK?!?! 



Game 3 Green Bowl Packers 116 I Pitta The Fool 166 

Not a whole lot to say about this game as newcomer Alex Gomez Pitta’d Val and his Packers. Matt Ryan threw a career high 36 points and Forte threw in 24. On Vals side, his receivers went missing and as a result he only mustered up 116 points but then traded for AJ Green. Will he have a reverse in form next week? We will see.. 

Player who shit the bed: Michael Crabtree WR 49ERS. 

After all the talk in preseason about how healthy Crabtree is, it sure did not look like it. Crabtree had 2 receptions against a horrible Dallas D. His injury looks to be nagging him, will he have a reverse in form against the bears which looks to be a shootout? We will see.. 



Game 4 FlutteringHorde 53 Rucker Rip some Lips 151 

The Fantasy Football Gods looked down and did not show any favor for FlutteringHorde. Playing an inactive Cam Newton did not help him ether. Oscars team showed no mercy on the horde and as a result a 97 point win was had. Julian Thomas caught 3 touchdowns and Kaepernick looked very much like a top fantasy star that he in the Route. EARTH TO RICK JAMES! SET YOUR LINE UP! 

Player who shit the bed: Its so hard to pick when a team’s top scorer is Dwayne Allen. Doug Martin and Cam Newton were both injured so I won’t kick them while they’re down so instead I’ll turn my attention to Larry Fitzgerald of the Cardinals whos days of multiple TD catches are as far behind him as my luscious hair. Gone are those days, when the wind would brush my hair, and gone are the days when fitz caught a touchdown. Sigh* 

Game 5 Colonel Sanders 119 Dog Don’tmind 133 

A valiant effort by Burke had Jared sweating but in the end he was the victor.. BUT AT WHAT COST?! Jared, still nervous from his first victory quickly traded away his top scorer. AJ Green for running back cover. One must ask why? Did you have an out of body experience where Levion Bell came to visit you and had you ride on his back down to fantasy football glory?!? We look forward to your answer. 



Player who shit the bed: Jamal Charles RB Chiefs. 

Has Jamal Charles gone the way of Trent Richardson? Sure looks like it after a day in which he only brought in 6 points. 6 Points from a Top 5 pick will get you on my shit the bed list. Better luck next week Jamal. 



GAME OF THE WEEK. PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW (FIRE WORKS!) 

Mr Rodgers Neighborhood 146 freedom thirty five 194 

Perhaps the greatest comeback since Lazerus! Yaro came back from 50 points down to decimate Daniels team. I being a brother of his was granted this exclusive interview… 

Me (Ory): Yaro how did you feel when you were down by 50 points going into Monday night’s game? 

Yaro: I had Faith in my team and you know we held our own you know. I’d also like to thank the New York Giants for sucking. 

Me: What was your reaction like when Stafford and Johnson connected on 2 touchdowns? 

Yaro: That was the culmination of careful research and planning going into the draft. Didn’t ecpect to see it come to fruition in week one. 

Me: Besides the New York Giants, did you want to say thank you to anyone else? 

Yaro: My mom for always believing in me and my 3rd grade teacher can suck it. 

There you have it folks, an exclusive interview with the hottest Fantasy Football player in our league… (No Romo)



Player who shit the bed: Frank Gore RB 49ers 

It breaks my heart to put Frank the Tank in the shit bed but I must after he only managed 4 points against a very generous Cowboys Defense. Rumours of his demise have been circulating the web for a few seaons now but has the time finally arrived when Frank Does not carry the niners to championship glory? Looks like it as Carlos Hyde had an excellent game and even finished with a touchdown. 



Thanks for having me do this. Hope I didn’t offend anyone too much. Good luck on week 2 everyone!