Regular season Recap

The playoffs are here.

For those of you that have made it, congratulations.  The invitation to the playoffs is for the 6 best teams in the league, whether it be through skill or luck.  The ticket to hopefully be a big winner and $550 dollars heavier.

For those of you in the loser's bracket.  Fear not, there is next year.  Please continue.  Also please, please remember that last place team (after the bracket has finished) will have their team name and logo for next year completely dictated by the winner of this bracket.  So play like your name depended on it, because it does.


THE OFFICIAL FINAL STANDINGS OF THE 2015 FOR REALS GUYS LEAGUE SEASON.

1ST PLACE: DOG DONT MIND 11-2
2ND PLACE: GREENBOWL PACKERS 8-5
3RD PLACE: THE GINGERS 8-5
4TH PLACE: GRONKIN UP SOMETHIN GOOD 7-6
5TH PLACE: MR. RODGERS NEIGHBORHOOD 7-6
6TH PLACE: BAG OF SUCK 7-6
7TH PLACE: FORTECAI AND DIGGSBY 6-7
8TH PLACE: BILL COSBY'S SLEEPERS 6-7
9TH PLACE: WEEKS OVER W/ BERNIE 6-7
10TH PLACE: SSS's WAIVER BROS 5-8
11TH PLACE: RANDY AND THE WR2S 4-9
12TH PLACE: RUCKERS RIP SOME LIPS 3-10

This is the official end of season standings.  There is however 3 more weeks of fantasy football to be played.  So for a couple of different little "achievements."

REGULAR SEASON POINTS LEADER:

 JARED GRUBE W/ 1898 POINTS SCORED.

REGULAR SEASON WORST LUCK!

JAKE YORKE W/  1761 POINTS AGAINST

 ON TO THE PLAYOFFS.

I'll be doing write-ups on all of the playoff games.  So enjoy this.  Celebrate if you need.  Good luck.

Week 12 Recap

I don't know if I would exactly call week 12 fun.  I mean, I'm sure that some of you enjoyed it but I'm not particularly happy.  


It's the very very last week of regular season.  There's some fun to be had, and well the last week will mean a lot.  So I'm just gonna jump into some things.  But first, let me drop in some fun I saw after this weeks Monday game. 

POWER RANKINGS

GAMES OF THE WEEK:

The Gingers versus Gronkin up Somethin Good

This was my exact face when I saw Gronk on the ground too.  First I want to say, WTF was that shit Yuriy?!  Sammy Shitkins and Calvin Johnshit?  For reals.  I think I'm too close to this one to objectively speak about it.  I knew it was coming though as soon as Megatron scored his second TD and it was cemented when Dez dropped his.  At least food was good for me this week.  Enjoy the win Yuriy, and just know that if you lose this next week you're toast.

Randy and the WR2s vs Bill Cosby's Sleepers

With a final score of 153-112 Ory officially killed Matt's playoff hopes once and for all.  Wilson threw up a 40 burger, Luke Kuechly destroyed Romo completely, and Matt would have won if he played Rivers and CJ Anderson.  That's the way it happens sometimes.  With Chris Johnson on IR and Demaryius Thomas not even on Brock's mind you might have tough sledding, but for now you're right in the thick of the hunt Ory.

Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood vs. Fortecai and Diggsby

A good matchup between two teams trying to stay in the playoffs.  Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood beat Fortecai and Diggsby 121 to 116.  Now there wasn't a lot of points sitting on Alex's bench, realistically the only way he could have won would be if he played Jeremy Hill instead of Forte (and by win, I mean tied).  The reality is that the reason Alex lost this game is because he traded Gates to D Smith and got Forte.  It's crazy because you would never expect that to come back to him, but here we are in week 12 and well, it happened.  Neither team  is a lock as of yet but D Smith has earned himself a chance to take fate into his own hand.

Bag of Suck vs. SSS's Waiver Bros

Jake, I imagine that gif might be a lot like what you're season must feel like.  I can't help but feel sorry but I have no true pity for a past champion.  Jake lost this matchup 116 to 111 and Yaro has somehow made his way into the playoffs.  I'd say congrats Yaro but I'm a little angry.  I will give you this, you benched a 40 burger.  AJ Green and Stevie Johnson saved your week, and Jordan Reed saved your season.  Don't sleep easy though, if you lose your next game you are done.

MATCHUPS TO WATCH WEEK 13

Gronkin up Somethin Good vs Randy and the WR2s

 If I win this game, I can make it into the playoffs.  I hold PF over Bag of Suck and Mr Rodgers Neighborhood.  If either of them lose and I win I can take the last spot back.

SSS's Waiver Bros vs Mr Rodgers Neighborhood

D Smith needs to win to stay in, if he loses and I or Ory win, D Smith can be eliminated.  His fate is in his and Jake's hand.

The Gingers vs Bag of Suck

This is a good one.  Outside of a tie, one of these teams can be kicked out of the playoffs.  Specifically if Yaro loses, then he'll most likely be out.

Weeks over w/ Bernie vs Fortecai and Diggsby

Alex and Andrew.  Andrew may not have the ability to make it into the playoffs (I actually don't know), but he can knock his brother out of the running.  If Alex loses he'll probably be knocked out.

Dog Dont Mind vs Bill Cosby's Sleepers

Ory needs to win this to maintain hope.  If he loses his playoff run is already over.


GOOD LUCK THIS WEEK.

Week 11 Recap

Welcome back to the Week 11 write up.  First I'd like to take one sentence to apologize for missing week 10 and allowing Fallout 4 to cut short week 9.  I mean, I'm okay with it but I would like to apologize.

Anyway, it's week 11.  There are two more weeks until the playoffs and there's a lot at stake.  The current playoff bracket is as such:

1) Dog Don't Mind (9-2)  (9-4 worst possible record).
2) Greenbowl Packers (7-4) (7-6) worst possible record).
3) The Gingers (6-5) (6-7 worst possible record).
4) Fortecai and Diggsby (6-5) (6-7 worst possible record).
5) Gronkin' Up Somethin Good (6-5) (6-7 worst possible record).
6) Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (6-5) (6-7 worst possible record).

As you can see, if you have 8 losses you are now officially out of playoff running.  I'm sorry dad :(. However, if you don't and you can win out then there is a lot on the line for you.  I'll point out what, to me, are the key matchups of this next week.

Gronkin Up Somethin Good vs The Gingers:

While neither team will be out with a loss, someone has to lose.  The team that does will have seeding hopes potentially lost and be one step closer to being knocked out of the playoffs at 6-6.

Randy and the WR2s vs Bill Cosby's Sleepers

Ory is on the cusp of the playoffs at 5-6, Matt is hoping someone loses out at 4-7.  Matt has the hot team with a ton of points and absolutely zero luck while Ory just needs to win some games.  This is a battle for positioning to make a late strike.  Loser of this may just have to consider themselves out of the playoffs.

Mr Rodgers Neighborhood vs Fortecai and Diggsby

Both 6-5, both battling for wild card spots (maybe a division leader with D Smith).  The loser of this isn't out of the playoffs, but they'll be coming close to it. 

Bag of Suck vs SSS' Waiver Bros

Jake may have taken many hits and blows, but he hasn't been eliminated.  Meanwhile Yaro sits at 6-5 and just one spot out of the playoffs.  With a loss of a 6-5 team and a Yaro win he has found himself suddenly sitting in the bracket.  This one will be interesting.

POWER RANKINGS

So, I'm not doing a game of the week.  In part because I didn't put up a poll last week, and in part because I plan on doing write-ups in all the matches posted above.  I hope you enjoyed what you read.  Good luck guys.

Week 9 Recap

So, you guys are going to hate this write-up.  I just got Fallout 4, so I'm very excited to try that but cannot ignore my weekly duties to post this.  So instead, I'm going to post a short one.  Try and get mad, but remember Fallout 4.

Anyway, no one is eliminated from playoffs yet.  If Andrew loses one more he will be, or if either Me or Yuriy win one more.  Fun fact of the week is:

• Jake has been screwed.  Injuries, absolutely, schedule also.  He has the most PA by more than 100.  He leads that category by more than 200 in his division.
• Yuriy has the least PA of anyone in the top 6.  No one has more than 1200.  
• Matt and Jake each have more than enough points to win tie-breakers.

POWER RANKINGS

GAME OF THE WEEK

FALLOUT 4.  I'LL BE GUILTY AND ADD TO THIS TOMORROW.  UNTIL THEN, THANKS FOR READING. 

Week 8 Recap

5 Weeks until playoffs begin, 8 weeks in total left.  No one has been eliminated from contention yet, but if you're close I'm sure you know.  I'm gonna keep this write-up somewhat short and sweet and just provide the info you all may be looking for.  It'll be good though, promise.

So one thing that really stood out in week 8 was injuries.  Some are calling it Red Sunday (after some Game of Thrones thing, nerds), some are calling it Bloody Sunday, I am also calling it bloody Sunday.  Well in case you don't know (and don't have any sudden holes in your lineup), let me tell you.  There were around 55 injuries on Sunday (enough to field a whole NFL team), including a ton of actually fantasy relevant (IE on your squad) players.  I'm going to, for fun, include a list of those players now:

• Leveon Bell - MCL (IR)
• Khiry Robinson - Leg
• Larry Donnell - Neck
• Keenan Allen - Kidney (?!!?!?) (IR)
• Eddie Royal - Knee
• Kendall wright - MCL
• Jason verret - Leg
• Desmond trufant - Back
• Matt Forte - MCL
• Jadeveon Clowney - Back
• Joe Haden - Concussion
• Steve smith - Achilles (IR)
• Nate Washington - Knee
• Orleans Darkwa - Back
• Mike Evans - Leg
• Stevie Johnson - Shoulder
• TJ Clemmings - Stinger
• Brandon Marshall - Toe/Ankle
• King Dunlap - Ankle
• Corey Liuget - Foot
• Chris Watt - Ankle
• Ladarius Green - Ankle
• Patrick Robinson - Concussion
• Ryan Fitzpatrick - Thumb
• Geno Smith - Shoulder
• Rey Maualuga - Calf
• Andre Smith - Concussion
• William Gholston - Knee
• LJ McCray - Knee
• Garrett Celek - Concussion
• Mike Davis - Hand
• Donte Whitner - Concussion
• Ricardo Lockette - Concussion
• Duane Brown - Concussion
• Cameron Wake - Achilles
• Juwan James - Toe
• Davante Parker - Foot
• Robert Alford - Groin
• Geoff Schwartz - Ankle
• Jeremy Zuttah - Shoulder
• Damian Swann - ?
• Quinten Rollins - Shoulder
• Sam Shields - Shoulder
• Calvin Johnson - Ankle
• Reggie Bush - ACL
• Josh McCown - Rib
• Everson Griffen - Shoulder
• Clay Matthews - Ankle
• Khalil Mack - Groin
• Kurtis Drummond - Concussion
• Mike Mitchell - Concussion Protocol
• Brandon Oliver - Toe (IR)

I don't think that's everyone, but I did go ahead and highlight the ones that I believe are on teams.  And Lockette cause that was nasty.

Take this as you will, but especially in the case of Jake.... I'm sorry dude, that's brutal.

Since we're getting close.  

If the playoffs were to begin today:

1. Greenbowl Packers (6-2) [1290 PF 1025 PA]

2. Dog Dont Mind (6-2) [1114 PF 905 PA]

3. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood (5-3) [966 PF 946 PA]

4. Fortecai and Diggsby (5-3) [1139 PF 1044 PA]

5. The Gingers (4-4) [982 PF 947 PA]

6. Katy Grube Fart Sniffers (4-4)  [960 PF 1004 PA]

For those of us below:

POWER RANKINGS

GAME OF THE WEEK:

G. Meyer beats J. Yorke  149-133

VS

I'm not gonna harp harder on the injuries that befell Jake's team.  I won't remind him of Bell hurting his MCL or Allen lacerating his kidney, or even of Steve Smith tearing his achilles.  Instead, I'd just like to point out WTF happened between these two QBs.  I mean, where in the hell do Brees and Manning get the balls to just go off for 50+ pts while playing each other in our league?   That's mean for both teams as their days are essentially negated.  But in the end, much like Brees did beat out Manning in both Fantasy points and RL points, Gary beat Jake.  It was tough, Jake had what looked to be one of the most loaded teams, but he's now in the 3-5 hole, one that's not impossible to dig out of, but also isn't easy.  Good luck to both you 3-5'rs.  You can still make it.

Guest writing this week is me. Jared Grube.

Great to see Berry getting his first interception since beating back cancer. Love how much of a team effort it was with the tip drill too.

Man. I am pretty sure the Chargers are still looking for Cooper in the film room. Gotta love how he stares down that defender and then just stops on a dime, sending him flailing into his own teammate trailing the play. A lot to look forward to in Oakland.

The underlying theme for today's write up is LUCK. We can rant and rave about who knows what and how things will work out. But the bottom line is LUCK plays a huge role into who wins each and every week. Shoot Andrew Luck has a role in two matchups this week alone, what does that tell you!

Here is how we are going to measure your teams LUCK for the week. And remember, I am by no way undermining anybody's team here. We all need luck and get it from time to time.

1-None. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong.

2-Bad. You had a chance, but not really.

3-Boring. Everything went as expected and you can't really argue the results either way.

4-Good. Caught a few breaks, maybe a sleeper came through for you.

5-Great. Nothing could stop you this week, everyone preformed. You won easy.

But before all that... POWER RANKINGS!

We begin with Nicks team. Nick gets a 5 luck score. Gronk being Gronk, Woodhead goes for 32 and Cooper is turning in a fantastic rookie year so far. On the other end Orest gets a 1 luck score. Foster, Randle and Lewis were injured this week. Luck was not kind to you, but it will swing back around your way with vengeance. Also, you can stop smelling Katy farts, they are unlucky.

Next is my team, with a score of 5 luck. First of all, my bench put up 76 points! Usually that is a bad sign I messed up my lineup in a major way. Second Val's team, luck score of 1, put up the worst scoring total of the year for him. I for sure lucked into a win this week, and Val... Although you did not even break 100 points this week you are the first team to 1,000 on the year. That being said you lost, so you probably feel like this kid.

Next is Jake with a luck score of 3. Everyone on your team did well but Eli but really, you can count on him stinking up the joint a few times a year. things were looking good when Miller went for 38 points in the first half. Then he never touched the ball again. Yuriy on the other side gets a 4 luck score. Things went well for you this week, Beastmode came back, Gurley is a stud and Megatron keeps on destroying double teams. This was the best game of the week, neither of you deserved to loose this week.

Alex and Matt I am giving you both a luck score of 2. This game was terrible from the start with Duke Johnson and Khiry Robinson leading the charge in the early game. A couple of 31 point games from Rivers and TY was the only intrigue in this match up. Lowest scoring game of the week. You both deserved to loose.

Alex gets a luck score of 5. You won despite both Forte and Hill on bye weeks, amazing. Diggs makes an insane diving end zone grab, and you get 12 points from your te/rb/wr group. On the other end Gary gets a luck score of 2. Your team played well, and you can look forward to better production from Boldin when the Niners get their head out of their ass and bench Keapernick.

Next we have Daniel with a luck score of ANDREW LUCK. I really don't know how he put up 29 points for you, watching that game you would think he scored in single digits. A couple of late TY bombs saved you this week Smith. And Yaro with a score of 1. Tate refuses to show up for you week in and week out. And the Pats really screwed you by running the ball a total of 9 times. An NFL record low 9 times, and the goal line work went to Brady. Ouch.

Alright guys. Sorry if there are too many gifs this week and they don't load proper. This was fun, and good LUCK the rest of the season!

Week 6 Recap

Week 6 marks the kinda halfway point in our season (13 games means 6 or 7 will have to be considered halfway).  I won't mince words and try to start getting cute with it right now, instead I'll jump directly into what matters.  Standings.

As of halfway(ish) through the  season these are the official standings,

IF THE PLAYOFFS BEGAN TODAY:

1ST SEED: Valeriy Shishkin (5-1 990 PF)

2ND SEED: Jared Grube (4-2 800 PF)

3RD SEED: Daniel Smith (4-2 719 PF)

4TH SEED: Alex Gomez (3-3 857 PF) (1 GB)

5TH SEED: Jake Yorke (3-3 831 PF) (1 GB)

6TH SEED: Orest Yaslinskiy (3-3 729 PF) (1GB)

7TH SEED: Yuriy Yedinak (3-3 718 PF) (1 GB)

8TH SEED: Yaro Yaslinskiy (3-3 695 PF) (1 GB)

9TH SEED: Nic Meyer (3-3 689 PF) (2 GB)

10TH SEED: Andrew Gomez (2-4 687 PF) (3 GB)

11TH SEED: Oscar Meyer (2-4 658 PF) (2 GB)

12TH SEED: Matt Burke (1-5 774 PF) (4 GB)

Now only the top 6 make it, so the team to beat is Ory.  There's still 7 games left, so that's one more than we've played so far.  I'd say probably the worst record you can get in with is 7-6 or 8-5.  Matt, good luck dude.  You've got the PF to make a tie breaker though.  

Out of curiousity I'll list the PA in terms of most PA to least PA also.

1ST: Alex Gomez w/ 853 PA

2ND: Jake Yorke w/ 851 PA

3RD: Matt Burke w/ 850 PA

4TH: Val Shishkin w/ 768 PA

5TH: Ory Yaslinskiy w/ 765 PA

6TH: Oscar Meyer w/ 743 PA

7TH: Andrew Gomez w/ 742 PA

8TH: Nic Meyer w/ 734 PA

9TH: Yaro Yaslinskiy w/ 728 PA 

10TH: Daniel Smith w/ 725 PA

11TH: Jared Grube w/ 712 PA

12TH: Yuriy Yedinak w/ 676 PA

Odd, normally it's pretty inverse with the standings but in this case if you just flip Jared and Matt it is almost the same as the standings.  Anyway, Alex feel good about yourself despite losing to the better team, you've had a rough season.  Matt, again good luck dude. Try not to end up like your QB.

POWER RANKINGS:

RIVALRY OF THE WEEK

GRONKIN' UP SOMETHIN' GOOD (N. MEYER) DEFEATS UNPROTECTED SOUP KITCHEN (ALEX G.) 157 - 110,

 

You know, it's one of those games where you feel like you have absolutely no chance of winning at all and yet somehow you also know there's no way you can lose.  That's how I feel when I come up against Alex, because Alex, there just isn't anyway I lose to you in an important game.  Much like you are the destroyer of the Yaslinskiy's I will be the destroyer of you.  Now sometimes I'll let you get a win to build up confidence, but when it counts, just know.

Anyway, to cut a story short, the real heroes were the two plug and plays Blake Bortles and the Miami D/ST.  Suh put a stomp on the throat of my opposition.

Week 5 Recap

5 down, 8 to go until the end of the regular season.  Are you where you hoped to be at this point?  I'm guessing the answer is no, especially now that we have 0 undefeated teams.  That's right, D Smith finally lost to my dad, G. Meyer, and on a week where Q Boldin outscored Antonio Brown.  That's a lot of fun to think about.  How I can imagine D Smith's reaction after losing because of one of his favorite players:

Oh well, it happens.

This was a strange week though, the highest scoring players were mostly names you don't hear often.  Hell just going through each teams highest scoring player gives me this:

A. Foster (20 pts)
G. Barnidge (27 pts)
A. Rodgers (18 pts)
D. Freeman (32 pts)
D. Murray (24 pts)
T. Brady (29 pts)
Derp Manning (34 pts)
D. Martin (36 pts)
J. Edelman (22 pts)
Q Boldin (24 pts)
Phil Rios (24 pts)
A. Dalton (30 pts)

Now the point isn't to say these guys are bad, but to ask the question: do they seem like the highest scoring guys around to you?  This year features a lot of new (not young, just new) faces making actual impacts.   Not a lot of the top scorers at this point were exactly what was expected.

So, going back to something I haven't done in a few weeks here are some divisional breakdowns (you know, like deathcore).

EAST: 
Total Points for: 2,541
Highest scorer: V. Shishkin w/ 797 pts (averaging nearly 160 ppg)
Lowest scorer: Yours truly w/ 532 pts
Total Points against: 2,511

WEST:
Total Points for: 2,559
Highest scorer: Alex Gomez w/ 747 pts (almost 150ppg average)
Lowest scorer: G. Meyer w/ 557 pts
Total Points against: 2,516

NORTH:
Total Points for: 2,408
Highest scorer: J. Yorke w/ 687 pts (Slightly under 140 ppg average)
Lowest scorer: Bag of Suck w/ 548 pts
Total Points against: 2,481

Interesting notes:

Jake, despite being the highest scorer in his division is 2 games back and tied with everyone besides D. Smith in his division. Meanwhile, Yuriy and D Smith in the same division have the two easiest schedules.

Matt is number 3 in scoring, and yet posts the leagues worst record with a 1-4.  He has the 3rd hardest schedule.  Bad luck?

Jared and Ory's teams are 31 points different in score, and there schedule is only 12 point difference.  They have almost the exact same output and input up to this point.

Once again, I don't have answers for these stats, but you know that feeling when you see a nice stat walk by

POWER RANKINGS:

MATCH-UP OF THE WEEK

Ory Yaslinskiy beats on Jared Grube.  Final score: 132 - 124

So, before I get too far into this, for archival purposes that we need to show how Ory's team came to be known as Katy Grube Fart Sniffers despite winning the game.  So everyone can see exactly what the bet was and how it went down:

The blue texts are Ory and the yellow is Jared.  Now the bet could have been about who won, in which case Ory would have got his fun.  Instead, Jared renamed the team after his sister who apparently has some noxious gas.



In this game in particular, it's hard to find someone that really stands out on Ory's team, the highest scoring player was Demarco Murray, but since he is soon to depart Ory's team I don't want to dwell on him.  Instead, I'll say the impressive part of Ory's team is the consistency.  From top to bottom they were double-digit players including the ones on his bench.  Hell if it weren't for his D/ST and kicker playing like butt this team could have really been special.  Even Dick Rod got in on the action, getting a solid 10 points.  Compare this to Jared's AlfMo (1pt) Jared Cook (1pt) and Delanie Walker (7pts) and its easy to see why even angry Brady couldn't throw his way out of it.  Ory won with a team that decided this was the week where every single player would actually do something, and because of that the KATY GRUBE FART SNIFFERS have made it to 3-2.  Now some happiness from the most elusive RB in the league Dion Lewis