Week 13 Recap! PLAYOFF EDITION!!!

ITS PLAYOFF TIME!!!

Hey guys!

I don't feel a strong necessity to explain what happened in the NFL this week, so I won't.  Who cares anyways, ITS PLAYOFF TIME!!!

Bragging Rights Awards:

MOST POINTS SCORED IN THE REGULAR SEASON:

1. THAT PUNK GOMEZ - 1904 POINTS (I can't keep track of your names)
2. ME!  ODB And The Ol' Dirty Bastards - 1820 Points (That's right Jared, Yuriy, I got here).
3. God 777 - 1799 Points (top 3, 1 spot out of playoffs. BRUTAL).
4. Dog DontMind - 1691 Points (4th is the spot where a bomb blew you up in Mario Kart... so good job).
5. Like Mike - 1656 Points (Better than the two playoff teams in your division, harsh).

MOST POINTS SCORED AGAINST IN THE REGULAR SEASON:

1. Team FlutteringHorde - 1814 Points Against.  Our inactive was our punching bag, fitting.
2. God 777 - 1742 Points Against.  At least for one year you weren't highest scored against?
3. Greenbowl Packers - 1731 Points Against.  Those ten extra points would have given Yuriy a playoff berth.
4. Jackson 2 - 1725 Points Against.  You got beat on, try a better draft next time.
5. Ruckers Rip Some Lips - 1659 Points Against.  Sorry Dad.

Alright, so I'm sure everyone has already checked, but if not then here we go.

PLAYOFF SEEDING.  WHO ARE YOU FACING? 

Seed 1 with a First Round Bye:  GOMEZ TEAM 

Seed 2 with a First Round Bye: Jared Gruber

Seed 3 - Jake Yorke will battle Seed 6 - Valeriy SanFranshiskin

- 

VS

Seed 4 - Me Nic!  versus Seed 5 - Daniel Smith

VS

THESE IS THE PLAYOFFS GUYS.

For those of you in the consolation brackets, remember play through.  This year we will be doing the winner of the consolation bracket gets to rename the lowest placing returning team, so be sure not to let that happen.   Good luck guys, may the best team win.

Week 11 Recap!

Hey guys,

2 weeks left, that's two games only.  That means we're gonna have some fun with the last playoff spots, and some people were definitely eliminated.

Lots of interesting things to consider for this week, Josh Gordon is back to thrill with some mediocrity (3 catches 62 yds), Ben Tate was let go by the Browns so he can sign with a better team, Mike Evans broke one of Randy Moss' rookie records, and we're nearing the end.

Because we're so close to the playoffs I figure most of my write-ups from now on will focus mainly on playoff chases, but of course we will still have

CHART MADNESS!!!

Top Points For:

1. Djosh Unchained - 1601 Points For (By far most name changes too)
2. God 777 - 1523 Points For (And most numbers in team name)
3. Dog DontMind - 1427 Points For
4. Full Metal Jacket - 1420 Points For (IM COMING FOR YOU JARED)
5. Like Mike - 1408 Points For

Top Points Against:

1. Team FlutteringHorde - 1526 Points Against
2. God 777 - 1525 Points Against (chasing the dream buddy)
3. Greenbowl Packers - 1448 Points Against
4. Like Mike - 1413 Points Against
5. Ruckers Rip Some Lips - 1411 Points Against

If the Playoffs Started Today:

1. Dog DontMind (8-3)
2. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood (8-3)
3. Djosh Unchained (7-4)
4. Cobb Thomas (7-3-1)
5. Full Metal Jacket (7-4)
6. Greenbowl Packers (6-5)

So.... That's 3 from the East again,  I'd like to hear about how weak we are at some point again please.

If the Consolation Bracket Began Today (1 is 7 and so forth):

1. Sunday Mornin Woodhead (5-6)
2. Ruckers Rip Some Lips (5-6)
3. God 777 (4-6-1)
4. Like Mike (4-7)
5. Jackson 2 (4-7)
6. Team FlutteringHorde (0-11)

CAN YOU MAKE THE PLAYOFFS?

Well, this question is going to be figured out in a simple way. So here are the criteria:

1. The lowest amount of wins in the playoffs now is 6, so you must be able tor reach 6 wins

2. If Val wins one game, that number rises to 7, so you would need 5 wins now to reach that.

With that said, let's get into specifics now

Sunday Mornin Woodhead (5-6)

So you need at least one win, but you should probably get two.  You gotta beat Alex and Yaro.   Neither will help your standings by bringing someone above you down, but you need these wins.

If Val wins next week, and you lose, you are eliminated.

Ruckers Rip Some Lips (5-6)

You get Ricardo this week, a (hopefully) easy win.  After that you go against me, if you win next week you'll be in the race, but if Val wins either of his next two games and you lose one, you are out.  

God 777 (4-6-1)

Val has to lose out, you have to win out.  The only way you get in is if no other teams get above 6 wins.  If you lose a game, or if Val wins a game, you are out.  

Like Mike (4-7)

Similar to Yuriy, you must win out.  If you lose, Val wins, or Yuriy wins out, you are eliminated.

Jackson 2 (4-7)

See "Like Mike"  exact same scenario.

POWER RANKINGS!!!

RIVALRY OF THE WEEK

Full Metal Jacket (7-4) Beats Cobb Thomas (7-3-1) 156 to 104.

Very very quietly, we had a championship rematch last week that went every single way it should have.,. well, anyway, it went the way I wanted it to this time.  For most of Sunday it had seemed like Jake was going to win, as he had many of his players in at the beginning and I only had Mr AJ Green, and my man ODB.  Peyton decided however that it was time to lose, threw a bunch of picks and not many TDs and lost JT and Sanders.   Randall Cobb and the RBs made some serious effort, trying to make up for Dez on bye and Gray on bench, but in the end they couldn't hold of the ballet dancing Lacy and the TD machine Gronk in my highest weekly scoring victory.

GAME OF THE WEEK

Greenbowl Packers defeats Sunday Mornin Woodhead 133-122, stealing his playoff spot

I gotta figure, after trading off three players that scored at least 14 a piece for just one that scored 23, did I lose that trade?  I don't know, Luck scored less than Wilson, and yet here I am sitting, staring at my lineup thinking, jeez I feel more comfortable.  And Val won.  He won with the help of this man above us, Brandon Marshall.

Aside from the three that were traded, only Fleener and Crabtree put up double digits on Val's team, but the huge game by Fleener cemented the win.  It was a good game though, Ory's team did show up to work, hell if he had played Cutler over Rivers he would have won, but how do you choose between two QBs that are essentially the same (-diabetes) anyways?  Jeffery really really tried to help Ory win, but sometimes it just isn't meant to be.

Bold Predictions:

Jared's Prediction:

"Carlos Hyde breaks off 2td 100+ on 12 carries or less. Jamal Charles goes ham on Seattle with 150+ total yds and 3tds"

Hyde definitely didn't do that, but Charles did get 149 and a TD.  So, I'll give you Charles.

Nic's Prediction:

"Raiders beat Chargers, James Jones has 60 yds and 2 TDs"

What happens when you bet on the Raiders?  You lose.

Alex's Prediction:

"Ingram goes for 115 yds/2 TD"

67 rushing, 30 receiving and TDs.

Yaro's Prediction:

"golden Tate wide open for not 1 not 3 but 2 touchdowns. And 130 yds."

HAHAHA, Stafford can't even throw TDs.  Not even close.

Jared wins, because even though he wasn't exactly right, we were all very very wrong.

GOOD LUCK WEEK 12 EVERYONE.

Week 10 recap!!

Double digits guys,

3 more games left, week 11, 12, and 13.  There is still a lot of room for change and upheaval left in this last stretch.  Less than a quarter of the games left, this is the time to win if you're going to.

In the NFL this week we saw the absolute dismantling of a few teams, the Bears, Panthers and Raiders to name a few.  With that, I also hope you all see the importance of garbage time.  The time when Benji scores two TDs and Marshall goes nuts.  The time when Manning unleashes his arm and real games remain completely unchanged.  As they say though, stats is stats is stats.

Anyway, to the real exciting part of all of this, who's gonna make the playoffs?  Who's gonna get that $550 payout that is oh so sweet.  If you can see it in sight, be smart and maybe you can make it in, it doesn't take the best team, it only takes the most hot team at the end to win it all, make a run today.

Chart Madness

Top Points For:

1. Megatron and Friends! - 1489 Points For
2. God 777 - 1429 Points For
3. Dog DontMind - 1308 Points For
4. Cobb Thomas - 1297 Points For
5. Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood - 1278 Points For

Top Points Against:

1. Team Flutteringhorde - 1401 Points Against
2. God 777 - 1374 Points Against
3. Megatron and Friends! - 1329 Points Against
4. Greenbowl Packers - 1326 Points Against
5. Like Mike - 1319 Points Against

Least Points For:

1. Team Flutteringhorde - 964 Points For
2. Greenbowl Packers - 1150 Points For
3. Jackson 2 - 1178 Points For
4. Ruckers Rip Some Lips - 1196 Points For
5. Sunday Mornin Woodhead - 1231 Points For

Least Points Against:

1. Full Metal Jacket - 1123 Points Against
2. Cobb Thomas - 1128 Points Against
3. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood - 1155 Points Against
4. Dog DontMind - 1165 Points Against
5. Sunday Mornin Woodhead - 1206 Points Against.

Now for what I'm sure everyone is waiting for.  The playoffs, and now how many games you can lose (or must win) to get in.

If the Playoffs Started Today:

1. Cobb Thomas (7-2-1)
2. Dog DontMind (7-3)
3. Megatron and Friends! (6-4)
4. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood (7-3)
5. Full Metal Jacket (6-4)
6. Sunday Mornin Woodhead (5-5)

This is the projected playoff bracket right now.  There are 3 weeks left, so things can definitely still change, and they likely will still change.  What I'm going to do now is take seeds 7 through 10, and give a little rundown onto why there is still hope left.

Seed #7: Ruckers Rip Some Lips (5-5)

Alright dad, one spot out of playoffs is probably the worst spot possible honestly.  You're tied in record with Sunday Mornin Woodhead, which means all he has on you at the moment is a points for tiebreaker.  Score high and you're in.  On the opposite side let's say you win out, giving you a record of 8-5.  That mean's if Jared loses two more games (and uh, he plays YOU, Cobb Thomas and Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood), you can still win the division.  This next week means a lot for you.  Beat Dog DontMind and force his hand.

Seed #8: Greenbowl Packers (5-5)

1 game behind from a division tied at 6-4.  That's tough.  Especially when you had a big chance to tie it up and you put up 61 points.  That's okay though, you're in the right spot for a move still.  Now you have the second least points for, so a tie breaker is tough but... not impossible.  If you were to outscore Ory by 81 points over the next 3 games you could actually pull out the spot from underneath him.  Add to that, you have a potential season record of 8-5, allowing you to surpass both Alex and I.  You're next week against Ory is your most important week by far.

Seed #9: God 777 (4-5-1)

Yuriy, to put it simply you are not a lucky guy when it comes to fantasy.  Hell the exact opposite is probably true.  You own the tiebreaker over every single person except Alex.  That means for you, the quest is simple.  Win games.  If you win out, you can be at 7-5-1.  That's not terribly great, and to win the division with that record means both Jake and D Smith have to lose out.  So we'll focus on looking at a wildcard spot.  So, right now the three wild card spots belong to D Smith (7-3), Me (6-4), Sunday Mornin Woodhead (5-5).  You're battling it out with two 5-5's ahead of you also.  Now Ory and Val play each other so there has to be at least one win there.  One of them will have at least 6 wins, so you realistically need to win at least 2 more games.  That means you can only lose one more game (if that) and still have a strong chance.  Good luck dude.

Seed #10: Jackson 2 (4-6)

Yaro, you're situation isn't hopeless.  You're only 2 games back in your division with 3 games left to go!  Some of the people in front of you are going to end with 6 loses, probably a few with 7.  The important part in your situation is simply that you do not lose another game.  You've got a chance to grab hold, beat Alex this week, oh hey now you're 1 game back.  Beat me next week!  Hey, you're looking good. Beat Ory again at the end and you've taken out your opponents.  You're far away, but you've got a good schedule for a comeback.

Matt:

You are 3-7.  This is easy, you need people to go on losing streaks.  Serious losing streaks.  You also need to win.  1 more loss and you're definitely out, so don't let that happen.

Ricardo:

You're out of luck this season man, if you want back in next season set your lineups. 

POWER RANKINGS:

Rivalry Of The Week:

Full Metal Jacket Defeats Greenbowl Packers 170-61

Val turned in a strong performance this week, in a crucial matchup.  Putting up a total of 61 awesome points, Val relied on the back of Dwayne Bowe who turned in an impressive 17 point game, and he had the most almighty of anchors in Knile Davis, the man who ran for -5 yards and a fumble.  Sure he had bye week hell, but FlutteringHorde outperformed him this week.

Now I don't want to be too happy about my highest scoring performance of the year, but I'm just saying that without Gronk in I dropped 170.  It was more a show of respect for Val than anything.  So for that, I must thank Val and his amazing awesome team for putting up a total of 106 points in our two games this year.  He has led to that awesome super low points against, and probably my 6-4 record.  For that, I thank you again.

Game Of The Week:

(Yeah, that's Kelvin Benjamin)

Ruckers Rip Some Lips Beats Jackson 2 136 to 124 in Garbage Time

In what once again came down to an awesome last minute finish, my dad pulled a win out of thin air, holding off Golden Tate and Justin Forsett for a win.  This was a big week too, Ruckers was running along at 4-5 and Jackson was also hanging out at 4-5.  In these final 4 weeks, every win counts in bringing you one step closer to the playoffs.  Now Jackson 2 is looking at an uphill climb, 4-6 down 2 games with 3 left to go, and Ruckers is 5-5, down 1 game with his fate tied to his ability to win.  

So, as the last 10 minutes of game in the 10th week of the NFL countdown, Ruckers is facing defeat.  The Panthers are down 45-7, the clock just keeps ticking away.  As time gets lower, Cam Newton throws a bomb!  The bomb goes right to one Kelvin Benjamin, and he catches it, TD!  This brings my dad closer, much closer.  Time keeps slipping.  The Eagles go three and out.  Panthers get the ball, Cam throws another deep pass. The ball flies through the air, sure he hadn't been able to complete a single good pass before, but now's better than never I suppose. 

The ball sails and....

My dad wins.




Good luck week 11 guys.

Week 9 recap!

Hey guys,

Week 9, the bye week for most of the teams in the NFC North, has proven to be a low scoring week.   But while overall scores were low, teams are becoming better as not one scored under 100.  That's pretty rare, and pretty good for such a large bye week.

Brady beat down Manning, Kaep fumbled to lose the week, and Big Ben tossed up 6 more TDs.  Phillip Rivers deserves a man of the week award, ending with a sweet -3 points, giving away as many turnovers as he has kids. Lets give it up for him:

Anyways, the season is weird and I have a headache so let's move on.

CHART MADNESS!!!!!:

Top Points For:

1. Martavis Maximus! - 1343 points for
2. God 777 - 1270 points for
3. Dog DontMind - 1183 points for
4. Cobb Thomas - 1150 points for
5. Sunday Mornin Woodhead - 1148 points for

Top Points Against:

1. God 777 - 1302 points against
2. Team FlutteringHorde - 1242 points against
3. Professor Hawkins - 1172 points against
4. Ruckers Rip Some Lips - 1168 points against
5. Martavis Maximus - 1149 points against

Lowest Points For:

1. Team FlutteringHorde - 891 points for
2. Jackson 2 - 1054 points for
3. Ruckers Rip Some Lips - 1060 points for
4. Greenbowl Packers - 1089 points for
5. Full Metal Jacket - 1095 points for

Lowest Points Against:

1. Cobb Thomas - 990 points against
2. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood - 1009 points against
3. Full Metal Jacket - 1062 points against
4. Sunday Mornin Woodhead -  1081 points against
5. Dog DontMind - 1083 points against

If the Playoffs Began Today:

1. Cobb Thomas (6-2-1) 
2. Martavis Maximus! (6-3)
3. Dog DontMind (6-3)
4. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood (6-3)
5. Sunday Mornin Woodhead (5-4)
6. Full Metal Jacket (5-4)
7. Greenbowl Pakcers (5-4)
8. Ruckers Rip Some Lips (4-5)
9. Jackson 2 (4-5)
10. God 777 (3-5-1)
11. Professor Hawkins (3-6)
12. Team FlutteringHorde (0-9)

Power Rankings:

Rivalry of the Week:

Dog DontMind beats Full Metal Jacket 158 to 123

Not a whole lot of rivalries this week, so I take it back to one that has been in the brewing since 2007 (2008?) when Jared got a job at the Starbucks I worked at.  I knew immediately he was a cool dude, and since have worked with almost every single person in his family.  So in other words, I wanted to bring the Grubes shame by beating him mercilessly.  It didn't work that way, as everyone on his team managed to score a TD and even Kenny Britt showed up to have a party.

So in congratulations to him I say, hope you win your division, but I also hope Kenny Britt's arms fall off.

GAME OF THE WEEK:

Cobb Thomas loses to Ruckers Rip Some Lips 126-132.

 

The battle of the team with no RBs, versus the team with only WRs spurned by backup QBs was a good one this week.  In what was a close match-up between the Manning led, Hill manned team of Jake's and the 49er heavy team of Oscar's, the true hero was the man above.  The 400 year old, clutch kicker proved to be just that in fantasy as well, outscoring the other ancient man Wayne to put victory into the hands of those that Rip Lips.  

Jake's team did remain in first place, and Oscar's team does stay out of the playoffs, but they're both one step closer to where they weren't before, and because of a kicker winning a matchup, this gets game of the week.

Instead of Predictions, LEAGUE COMMUNICATION:

In lieu of all the bollocks happening on the facebook page right now, I propose here we have a clear level-headed discussion.  I propose a few questions that I would like EVERYONE's input on.  This is your league, even though I am commissioner I only do it so we can all enjoy the game.  So, if you could please answer these in whatever method you'd like (be it text, facebook, ESPN, etc) I'd greatly appreciate it.

Question:  What would you like to see out of the option to veto trades?  When do you think it's a good idea, and how should we judge trades?

Thanks for reading guys, good luck week 10.

Week 8 recap!

Hey guys, 

Week 8 is over, that means counting week 9 there is only 5 weeks left until we hit the playoffs.  What that means is that there is only a combination of a remaining 5 wins/losses/ties to change your overall record.  Couple that with the fact that all of these divisions are pretty damn close and I think we're headed towards a hell of a finish.  

Week 8 was a barn burner, I believe of all the weeks this one had the highest points for by a substantial margin, 8 teams scored over 120 points, 1 over 100, and just 3 below.  Burke's team even scored just below 200 points, making a stake at highest score of the year.  Now week 9 promises to drop this back down a notch bringing in the bye weeks of many good teams. 

I would talk more about performance, but I want to do some number crunching so onward we go.

CHART MADNESS!!!! 

Top Points For:

1. Prepare Your McManus (5-3) - 1186 points for.
2. Demarius Derp! ! (3-4-1) - 1168 points for
3. Sunday Mornin Woodhead (4-4) - 1034  points for
4. Dog DontMind (5-3) - 1025 points for
5. Cobb Thomas (6-1-1) - 1024 points for

Top Points Against:

1. Demarius Derp! ! (3-4-1)  - 1191 points against
2. Team FlutteringHorde (0-8) - 1128 points against
3. Prepare Your McManus (5-3) - 1049 points against
4. Greenbowl Packers (4-4) -  1046 points against
5. Ruckers Rip Some Lips (3-5) - 1045 points against

Lowest Points For:

1. Team FlutteringHorde (0-8) - 787 points for.
2. Ruckers Rip Some Lips (3-5) - 927 points for
3. Jackson 2 (4-4) - 944 points for
4. Greenbowl Packers (4-4) - 950 points for
5. Full Metal Jacket (5-3) - 972 points for

Lowest Points Against:

1. Cobb Thomas (6-1-1) - 858 points against 
2. Full Metal Jacket (5-3) - 904 points against
3. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood (5-3) - 907 points against
4. Jackson 2 (4-4) - 947 points against
5. Dog DontMind (5-3) - 960 points against

These are your basic charts, but seeing as how we're reaching the final stretch I'm gonna go a bit further this time.

What Do You Need to Make the Playoffs:

For this new section I'll point out a few things about your team and give the most simple scenario in which you reach the playoffs.  

EAST:

Prepare Your McManus (5-3) 1186 points for.

• On average you score 148 points a week.  
• You're highest scoring week was 174 (a win) and your lowest scoring week was 134 (also, a win),
• You have the highest points for and tied for first in the division.
• Consistently high points scored across the board, so the only thing I can offer you is to tell you, stop losing.  The only way you'll be eliminated from the playoffs is by record, and since you don't play me every week you probably won't lose too many.  

Full Metal Jacket (5-3) 972 points for.

• I score on average 122 points a week.  
• Lowest scoring week was a win at 92 points, highest was also a win at 145.  Every other week I've been from 110-130, no outliers.  Incredibly consistent, no blowing up and no losing big.  
• I gotta win.

Greenbowl Packers (4-4) 950 points for.

• On average you score 119 points a week.
• You're lowest score was 45!!!! in a loss.  Your highest score was 167 in  a win last week.
• You're team has been swinging around, from bad to good, bad to good, etc. etc.  
• So you're 1 full game back from both me and Alex.  Tied with Yaro.  You need only one loss on both our parts and 1 win on yours.  Not too far off, but if you were to say lose all of the next games and we won even once you'd be eliminated.

Jackson 2 (4-4) 944 points for.

• On average it's 118 points a week.
• You had 194 points in the first week, still the highest score of the year. You're lowest score was 90 in a loss.
• Without the 194 point game you average just over 100 points.  5 games you've played have been below 110, 3 below 100.  
• With that said, you and Val are in the exact same spot.  1 game behind first, fighting with each other.  Neither of you have points for victories, so you have to have good records to get into the playoffs.

WEST

Dog DontMind (5-3) 1025 points for.

• 128 points a week from ya.  
• Feels good to be first doesn't  it?  With a 1 game lead I wouldn't feel great about it because you're division has been trading blows for a long time now.
• With a high score of 178 and a low score of 90 you've been all over the place.  While it's been mostly up, when it's down it's pretty far down.
• Stay on top of your game, one win by Ory and one loss by you is a tie, but for now enjoy the first place.

Sunday Mornin Woodhead (4-4) 1034 points for.

• 129 points a week.  1 more than Jared.
• As the self described NFC Wests, I'd like to say you all play like it too.  No real separation, you guys are battling each other.  
• Your weeks are consistently inconsistent.  You've posted a 72 point week, but also a 176 point week.  You've been more consistent and better recently, but be prepared.  You're down a game, competing against Yaro, Val, Yuriy, Oscar, D Smith and Alex or Me for points. 
• You may be able to lose again, but don't make it a habbit.

Ruckers Rip Some Lips (3-5) 927 points for.

• 116 points a week.
• Lowest score was last week at 79.  The week before was at 83.  You were doing consistently great beforehand, but recently it looks like your team has lost its mojo
• Try to forget last week, that game was not winnable and the 9ers were on bye.  Instead focus on the fact that you're 2 games behind and way back in the points for.  You need a good record, that means either winning your division or having a better record than the other wildcards.  If you lose 3 more games that will be impossible, 2 more improbably and 1 more very difficult, you gotta try and win out.  
• This is it, do what you got to to win, don't hold back.

Team FlutteringHorde (0-8) 787 points for.

• You haven't been mathematically eliminated now but it's looking grim.  You gotta go on a tear and win out.  Not impossible, but you need to make a lot of roster moves.  No reason to still have Cruz, no reason to hold onto Stacy, you just gotta stay up with the times.

NORTH

Cobb Thomas (6-1-1) 1024 points for.

• 128 points a week.
• Low score last week at 98 points (a win),  High score is 149.
• Aside from 2 weeks, both in the 90s, your team has scored 130 and 140 in each week.
• Very consistent, but I suppose that's why you draft Peyton Manning right?
• The tie puts you in an interesting spot.  If you win you'll be fine, hell you can even lose 2 more times and feel pretty good, but remember if D Smith were to end 10-3, and you were to end 9-3-1, D Smith would beat you.   

Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (5-3) 987 points for.

• 123 points a week is your average output.
• Highest point total was 181 week 4, lowest 78 week 7. 
• Recently your team has been... struggling.  The lack of Jimmy has hurt, and Lynch has fallen off a bit.  Those two coming back could help you out a lot.
• So you're 1.5 games back.  What does that mean?  You have the potential to win more or lose less than Jake.  You need Jake to lose twice to win the division, while you win out.  Your battles with Jake are over this season though, so just worry about yourself. 
• Aside from winning the division you're firmly entrenched in the wildcard race, so just don't mess it up.

Demarius Derp! ! (3-4-1) 1168 points for.

• 146 points a week.
• Your lowest score was 124, highest 184.  
• You've been beat on.  You're team might be the strongest, but you've won the game of bad luck, you'll face everyone right when they decide it's time to beat you.
• Now with that said, you're clearly not out of this yet.  You own the tiebreaker over everyone but McManus! and you're only 3 games back from first.  With 5 weeks left, this is a hard one to beat, but not nearly impossible.
• Try not to lose anymore though, a 8-4-1 record is much better than 7-5-1 and might get you into the playoffs as opposed to a 6-6-1 record.

Mary-Kate and Greg Olsen (3-5) 1022 points for.

• 128 points a week.  (Which is, btw, about the same as Jake).
• Lowest score was a 66 point week (Ouch), but the rest have been over 100, including this last week at 190.
• It's been tough, that's for sure. The rest of your schedule doesn't exactly get easier...  But, you hold the power to your playoff hopes.  You go against Alex, Jake, Yuriy, Val and D Smith still, all players above you.  Let's say you win out or at least go 4-1, you can make the playoffs because youll have given losses to those ahead of you.  
• Win, win, win and you'll make it in.  You're team is strong, just continue ahead.

Alright, now that that's over.   

If the Playoffs Started Today:

1. Cobb Thomas
2. Prepare Your McManus!
3. Dog DontMind
4. Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood
5. Full Metal Jacket
6. Sunday Mornin Woodhead

POWER RANKINGS

Rivalry of the Week:

Jackson 2 beats Sunday Mornin Woodhead 153 to 135

Ahhh the battle of the brothers.  Peyton Manning versus Eli Manning, Aaron Rodgers versus Jordan Rodgers, Derek Carr versus David Carr, other brothers in the NFL, and Yaro versus Ory.

In a hard fought battle, we see Yaro pull out ahead with the trade that everyone thought was sure to sink him.  Golden Tate and Keenan Allen combined for 50 points in the 18 point win against Ory, overshadowing his Alshon and Sammy.  A lot was on the line between these two, mostly just bragging rights, but that can mean a lot when the person you're facing is in your family.  It was close, and each team did well, but the Vikings D/ST really pulled through to beat down and seal the win for Yaro.  Which, I should point out, Vikings D/ST scored 18 more than the Cowboys D/ST the exact amount that Yaro won by, meaning the rest of the teams tied each other.

Game of the Week:

Full Metal Jacket beats Prepare Your McManus! 145-135.

Big division matchup, the second match between our two teams.  In what may have came down to an easy season for Prepare Your McManus!, his team lost the matchup.  Antonio Brown and Forte came through, as always, but it wasn't enough because Gronk decided it was time to Gronk SMASH.  Combine that with Eddie Lacy taking receptions from the rest of the Packers WRs, this match was meant to be.  

I don't like to talk too much about my own team, so I'll leave it with just this:

Week 7 Recap!

Hey guys,

Week 7 is done.  Our first tie of the year occurred this week, Jake and Yuriy ended up with 149 a piece.  Great scores, but the same score.  We had the Gomez team drop 174 points this week, somehow catching Tannehill in his good week.  It was a pretty cool week, as all the high scoring teams played each other and all the low scoring teams duked it out also.  Russell Wilson once again proves that he's the best player in the game putting up 40 and breaking records.  Actually, this was a huge week for the NFL, quite a few records broken

• Peyton Manning broke the TD Pass record for a career, and Elway looks really smug like always.
• Russell Wilson becomes the first ever QB to pass for 300 + yards and run for 100 + yards.
• Demarco Murray is the first running back to rush for 7 straight games of 100 + yards in one season.
• Percy Harvin wins for most bye weeks in one season.

The Bills lost both of their running backs this week, Spiller for the season and FJax for a few weeks.  The Rams tricked the Seahawks a bunch of times and made them look like fools.  The Jaguars got their first win of the season, leaving only Oakland winless ( :( ).  The Bengals forget how to move the ball without the color green.  The 49ers give up 40 + points and everyone on the Broncos gets into it.

Despite all this though, it actually wasn't a particularly high scoring week.  Sure some teams look fantastic but overall there wasn't as many points to go around.

And finally half of our regular season is done.  Only 6 more games until playoff time.  

CHART MADNESS!!!!  FIESTA DE CHARTS!!!

Top Points For:

1. Prepare Your McManus! - 1051 points
2. Demarius Derp! ! -1044 points
3. Cobb Thomas - 926 points
4. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood - 905 points
5. Sunday Mornin Woodhead - 899 points

Top Points Against:

1. Demarius Derp! ! - 1013 points against (Pow straight to the kisser)
2. Team FlutteringHorde - 961 points against.
3. Mary Kate and Greg Olsen - 935 points against (like the new name)
4. Greenbowl Packers - 935 points against
5. Prepare Your McManus! - 904 points against.

And since we are now halfway through, it's time for a new category of charts!

If the Playoffs started this week (#'s indicate seeding):

1. Cobb Thomas (5-1-1)
2. Prepare Your McManus (5-2)
3. Sunday Mornin Woodhead (4-3)
4. Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (5-2)
5. Dog DontMind (4-3)
6. Full Metal Jacket (4-3)

If you aren't on this list (YURIY!) you gotta get some wins these few weeks.  If you're #2 on this list, expect to be out of the list by week 13.  No one has yet been mathematically eliminated (not even FlutteringHorde) but remember, you gotta win if the people in front of you win too.

Power Rankings:

Rivalry of the Week:

A Tie at 149 between Thomas Cobb and Demarius Derp! !

A rivalry dating back to twin day in high school, two tall blokes that play in the same division and are hard to get a hold of.  They're games haven't always been exactly competitive (Yuriy has had some bad... bad years), but they've been getting better and better as time goes on.  This year we have the battle of high points scored and a hard schedule, versus the good team with an easy schedule (I'll let you figure out which is which).  

These teams both had record breakers on them, in Yorke's corner was Peyton Manning, all time greatest forehead, and in Yedinak's corner was Demarco Murray, all time greatest injury risk.  Demarco Murray has been consistent, despite catching Ebola earlier in the week, he still had over 100 yards.  Peyton Manning also lit up the field, throwing a career high in TDs, but unfortunately he was throwing to Yuriy's hot receiver Demaryius (LOL DEMARIUS) Thomas.  Manning scored 36 and Thomas scored 37, so it was written. I would go further into details comparing the rest of these guys, but I figure it this way:  if any of the players had scored ever 1 more point, the game would have resulted in a win and loss.  So what difference does it make.  This tie keeps Jake atop his division and Yuriy in 3rd so overall it really was a win for Jake, even if it was a win in the most Middling of styles.

GAME OF THE WEEK:

(honestly it should be that same game, but because I don't like redundancy)

Freedom 35 beats Mary Kate and Greg Olsen 117-103

(Those can't be real glasses)

In a show of not wanting to look like an idiot for trading away two good players for whatever, Yaro's team came out and got a win because of the one that benefits from his traded player being out, Golden Tate. Hell, Golden Tate and Matthew Stafford put up about half the points from this team, and with the help of Kendall Wright and not much else he pulled off the win.

But what I really want to talk about is Kirk Cousins.  Kirk Cousins was the starting QB for Matt's team, and he showed to be the greatest of leaders, putting up 1 point and getting benched for Colt McCoy.  

This guy:

Benched for this guy:

I mean, what do I know?  My guess is that they decided that it was time for another Burke loss.  Or they wanted someone that would notice Pierre Garcon, the crazy french guy.  Simply put, when the TE position is your greatest strength it's hard to win when your QB decides it's time to take a job doing what a portable heater could do, bench warming.  As such Yaro came out with the victory, and a potential season of Megatron-less wins (probably not).

BOLD PREDICTIONS:

JARED'S PREDICTION:

"Payton throws 3 ints. Matt Ryan only throws for 175yds. And Carr comes back to earth with under 200yds and no tds."

Why do you hate me?  Do you want me to spend hours looking up stats?

Peyton didn't throw 3 ints, the 9ers are worse than that.

Matty Ice threw for 228, so a little under there.

Derek Carr came back to Earth for sure. 173 yards no TDs.  You got it.  Bastard.

OREST'S PREDICTION:

"I agree That Matt Ryan is going to have a horrible week AND The Jags will get their first win."

Super vague so even though you were completely right I can't give you the win.

Good call out on the Browns though!

ALEX'S PREDICTION:

"Colston goes 7rec/108yds/1TD. Bonus Prediction to spice things up within divison...I will defeat Valeriy Shishkin by more points than Eddie Lacy will have in fantasy this week"

6 receptions 111 yds no TDs.  Pretty damn close.  If Lacy would have scored 31 

everyone would have been amazed.  Keep calling these though, please.

NIC'S PREDICTION:

"75 yards for Murray, no TDs"

Last time I talk about any Cowboys players.

ALEX WINS FOR BEING MOST PRECISE.  COLSTON DID DO ALMOST THOSE EXACT STATS.

Week 6 recap!

Hey guys, 

Welcome to the end of week 6.  This week the Bengals and the Panthers tied with 37 points, once and for all proving that all types of big cats are equally as strong as each other.  The Cowboys decided that it was time to go out to the bay, drop some bread down, and shoot the Seahawks.  The 49ers decided that gold was in the Rams mountain and blasted it down with  water.  Okay, I'm done with team names and jokes.  Except, the Colts made the Texans clean their poop bags.

So as  I sit here and watch Bullit on my TV, I can't help but wonder, why does it always seem that when injuries happen they always happen to multiple people?  Knowshon is out for the season, Victor Cruz is out for the season, Darren Sproles is out for a bunch of weeks, AJ Green lost a toe, and Megatron looks to be out until week 10.  

Some cool things I hear happened this week, TY Hilton had 1 yard shy of the all-time Colts receiving record (1 game), the Bengals are how Killa Cam got his groove back, Flacco threw 5 TDs in the first half, and Eli got sacked just as often as he threw the ball.  This was the first Sunday I worked this week though, so of course I got a win.  Also, I don't know what else to say so, on to the next part.

CHART MADNESS

Top Points For:

1. Demarius Derp! ! - 895 Points for (DAMN YOU DID IT!)
2. Prepare Your McManus! - 877 Points for (Being second is like being last)
3. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood - 827 Points for

Top Points Against:

1. Team Flutteringhorde - 869 Points Against (Start your players).
2. Demarius Derp! ! - 864 Points Against (I don't think anyone plays bad against you).
3. Colonel Sanders - 818 Points Against

Least Points For:

1. Team Flutteringhorde - 602 Points For (Start your players).
2. Greenbowl Packers - 640 Points For (In this case, second is like being first).
3. Freedom 35 - 674 Points For (haha I've broken out of the bottom 3).

Least Points Against (also known as the Make a Wish Foundation):

1. Cobb Thomas - 627 Points Against 
2. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood - 684 Points Against (Top two of division huh...)
3. Full Metal Jacket - 691 Points Against

So the two teams that are 5-1 in the North have the least points against, while Yuriy and Matt are both in the top 3 for points against.  Now I'm not saying someone earned this or what have you, but I love that polarizing division.  The East over here is terrible, with possibly the worst team in the league with Prepare Your McManus!.  But again, both Yaro and Val are in the bottom 3 for points for, so it's easy sailing.

The West is fun., the West might just be my favorite, because if you look at all of these charts what's the same?  The only West team in them is Flutteringhorde for getting his ass kicked and playing players on Bye (START YOUR PLAYERS).  Jared, Oscar, and Ory are all within 30 points scored of each other (30 POINTS).  That's next to nothing.  They're within 25 points of having points scored against them (SERIOUSLY THERE'S ONLY 25 POINTS!).  I expect this division to stay competitive and fun to watch until the end.  Also I suppose it's important to mention that every single one of them is 3-3.  Good luck guys haha.

POWER RANKINGS:

RIVALRY OF THE WEEK:

Mr Rodgers Neighborhood beats Cobb Thomas 123-99

Two former champs (Jake multiple times) duked it out today on the two teams with the best record in the league. Both facing less than stiff competition this year, and both wanting to take control of their division, these two had a lot at stake.  They also both know each other quite well, having at one point lived with each other actually (I won't say how that ended).  These two both needed something important to win this week.  

Although I've already spoiled the ending in the title, Mr Rodgers Neighborhood came out on top through the impressive performance of one Aaron Rodgers, and Steve Smith Sr. Jake's reliance  on Andre Williams from the NYG did him in (although, it's not like D Smith's RBs did any good).  Really actually it's probably Jake's WRs that did him in.  Speaking of his WRS:

That's Deandre showing that he doesn't care whatsoever.  Him and Reggie really let Jake down, and destroyed the last undefeated season.

GAME OF THE WEEK:

Greenbowl Packers defeats Colonel Sanders 123-120

(Michael Crabtree showing his passionate love for the football)

Val won in extraordinary fashion this last week, using a TD catch by the man above to bring him 3 points over Colonel Sanders team.  This week it was mostly the usual suspects showing up for Val, Luck and Foster that is, and the new addition of Bradshaw providing consistency.  This showed as he beat up on the hot waiver pick Brandon Oliver and Nick Foles okay days to still provide a win, despite some lack of points in many other areas. 

Let's talk about bench production though, and probably the most infuriating aspect of fantasy football.  Val chose the perfect players this week to give him 123 points, any other options would have lost him his game.  Matt on the other hand, left a lot of points on his bench (3 alone between Palmer and Foles), Malcolm Floyd would have been great to play over Julio Jones (hah, who would have done that).  Mike Evans even would have been great to put in.  Oh well, I'm just making you feel bad.  If it weren't for the Rams stopping play in the third quarter there's a good chance you would have still won, I guess for you the best option is to just hate Kaep and the 9ers from here on out.

BOLD PREDICTIONS:

Alex's Prediction:

"Foles will go 260 yds/3 TDs"

Actual Stats:

248 yds 2TDS/2Ints

Close, give it 12 yards and a TD and that's good.

Nic's Prediction:

"Flacco has a 4 TD 300 yd game"

Actual Stats:

306 yds and 5 TDs

I think I made him play well, I'm stoked it was that damn close.

Ory's Prediction:

"Cowboys beat the Seahawks!"

They did.

I guess you were right, a 50/50 chance is pretty easy though.

Val's Prediction:

"Percy harvin with 2 tds and 120 yards"

Actual Stats:

3 receptions 0 yds, 3 rush -1 yds.

Ouch dude, no TDs and -1 total yds.  That's harsh.

TIE BETWEEN ALEX AND I.  WITH EDGE 

GOING TO ME, I WIN!

GOOD LUCK NEXT WEEK GUYS: