Week 3 Recap!

Week 3 Recap!

Answers to Last Weeks Blog:

1. Greenbowl Packers - Your NFL team is..... The Green Bay Packers. 
2. MBs 3rd Annual Shitshow - Your NFL team is..... The Miami Dolphins.
3. Squidward's Revenge - Your NFL team is..... The Washington Redskins.
4. Mustard Tigers - Your NFL team is..... The Baltimore Ravens.
5. BB Baker's Boys -  Your NFL team is..... The Cleveland Browns.
6. Rip Lips - Your NFL team is..... The Chicago Bears.
7. Football Cream - Your NFL team is..... The Pittsburgh Steelers.
8. DonJulios Underdogs - Your NFL team is..... The Houston Texans.
9. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood - Your NFL team is..... The Los Angeles Chargers.
10. The Chorne Zhopas - Your NFL team is..... The Tennessee Titans.
11. Fresno Facecleaters - Your NFL team is..... The Denver Broncos.
12. The Rats Nest - My NFL team is..... The New England Patriots. (which actually feels nasty to type).

Andrew will be rewarded for being the only correct guess.  How he will be rewarded, you should just wait and see.

If Your Team Was a Horror Movie

Because it will be October by the next time I do another blog, I am presenting to you this piece.  I will tell you what the movie is, and justification.  If you disagree, then maybe I will question your opinion of not only the movie, but of fantasy as well.

DonJulios Underdogs

The horror movie I believe your team compares to is The Blair Witch Project.  Your team is comprised of players that have become the new "fads."  Like The Blair Witch Project jump started found footage horror movies, your team has jump started Dalvin Cook as the best RB and Mark Andrews as a top TE.  In the Blair Witch Project everyone thought the footage was real and it ended up being a smash hit, and you are 3-0 thus far, a smash hit. On your team the pieces that were proven in the past ended up being the worst parts with Stefon Diggs, Damien Williams, and Tarik Cohen massively underperforming.  In this case, Julio Jones is the witch's house, a tried and true jump scare that still worked wonderfully.  Hopefully your team does not leave you staring into a corner at the end of the season.

Mustard Tigers

Your movie is a classic, Alien. It seems like in both this movie and your team there is something picking apart your crew one-by-one.  It started with Antonio Brown, then it got Michael Gallup, then it got Devin Singletary, then it got Le'Veon Bell (in this case, he isn't injured but Sam Darnold got mono so what can you do).  Each week your top scorers change, much like the Alien finds new places to hide on the Nostromo.  Also, much like the movie, their is absolutely one main character.  Patrick Mahomes is your Ripley.  Patrick Mahomes is literally Sigourney Weaver.

The Rats Nest

If you know my movie preferences, you already absolutely know what I'm choosing for the undefeated season I am currently holding onto.  My movie is The Thing from 1982.  My team and the movie both have the best director in their perspective genres and leagues.  Both the movie and my team are solid the whole way through, and even the supporting cast seems to be putting up solid numbers.  I clearly have my Kurt Russell in Christian McCaffrey, and I also have my Wilford Brimley in Darren Waller.  He's the truth, but sometimes I have to leave him outside (on my bench).  

Rip Lips

If I didn't know how much you like fishing, I would just assume that your name was a reference to a horror movie.  However because I know better, I will say that your team most reminds me of Halloween (1978).  Thus far this season you have been barely scraping by, you've won by 0.9 (which isn't even an integer), and just under 6 points.  They both came down to the wire.  Your team is winning, but it doesn't have urgency, just like Michael Myers always walks to chase his victims.  You're always in it, even when the opponent thinks they have lost you, you somehow manage to show up on a Monday night and beat them anyway.  

Greenbowl Packers

Wildly successful this far through the season, yet showing clear weakness and faults.  That sounds like Paranormal Activity This team might have convinced a few that it was real, but it heavily relied on effects and conventions of the past that just really don't quite hit home.  With that said though, they have both shown to be successes to this point, defying any logical conclusions that could be made. Your team also probably scares Yuriy, and I know Paranormal Activity scared him.  Your team is "spooky" in the sense that anyone that is unsure of exactly how fantasy football is going might be scared of it.

Fresno Facecleaters

Your division has 3 teams at 1-2.  So therefore I will immediately see your division as the battle of the "Slashers."  That is to say, these next three teams (including yours) are the teams that aren't the cream-of-the-crop, they feature bad acting and completely unbelievable stories, but people choose them as their favorite time and time again.  Anyhow, your team is the Nightmare on Elm St. in this category.  It's got what should be the best movie of any of them (your week 3 would be the best score), a close loss, a loss to the best team in your division.  The original Nightmare on Elm Street is your week 3, a strong showing that should cement your ability to be a long lasting force.  The other performances were both losses and mixed.  You should feel good coming out on top of this bunch.

The Chorne Zhopas

Coming in second in the battle of the slashers is Yuriy's team, otherwise known as The Chorne Zhopas.  Your movie is Friday the 13th.  You are Jason, well known but definitely not the top of your class.  You're unwilling to change and refuse to see when the things in front of you are in need of change.  How many times have you sat their wandering if Crystal Lake is really where you wanted to be chained the rest of your life?  Well, this year your Crystal Lake is Joe Mixon. He certainly looks good when the moon hits him at the right time of night on the right day of the year, but otherwise he isn't doing too hot.  You're also not quite up to par with your competition as Nightmare on Elm St. is the better franchise, but you did get a head-to-head.  Unfortunately, unlike Freddy Vs. Jason, there was never a point in which you thought you might have won.

Mr Rodgers Neighborhood

Well, your team comes in last in the slasher category.  Your team most reminds me of the movie, The Burning. This movie desperately wanted to be as big as the other two, and it had some promise.  Unfortunately the movie fell well short by carrying around the dead-weight actresses that may have looked good, and dumping off what was clearly the best actor in the movie.  Allow me to elaborate.  In the Burning, almost all of the acting is just absolute garbage.  They get leading actresses who may have looked great by 1980s standards, but they just could not perform.  However The Burning did get lucky in the fact that it managed to nab a great actor in one of the first role's in his career, Jason Alexander (George Costanza).  But much like Saquan Barkley has been removed from your team much too early, Jason Alexander was removed from this team much too early.  Albeit his removal was with gardening tools.  

BB Baker's Boys

In your second year your team reminds me a lot of The Conjuring 2.  Your team is the sequel to something that came out of nowhere and managed to be pretty good and wildly successful. Sure you didn't win any awards, but you came out of the gates hot.  Your sequel shows potential, but it is disappointing considering how your last year went.  The Conjuring 2 had some holes and some terrible CGI, which is surprising because The Conjuring 1 was able to make low-budget (late-round picks) special effects work with high budget (early round) acting.  This time your actors are slightly worse (Zeke is not performing as Kamara was last year), and your effects clearly lack the heart and smarts to succeed (Browns are not playing smart).  Hopefully, like the film franchise, this early misstep will not hurt complete success of the franchise. 

Mixed Thielens

As your team name this year is constantly changing, I think it's only right to name your team after the horror movie comprised of the most bi-polar consistently changing family family, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2.  This movie is a sequel to what is considered one of the most horrifying movies of all time (in this case I'm using it because you have won a championship), and it takes it in a completely new direction but with familiar faces.  Leatherface returns (Greg Olsen), as well as his brother (Big Ben) albeit with a brand new personality.  The family is all there, but with a new face face, Dennis Hopper (DeAndre Hopkins) that really ties it all together and makes the movie wildly entertaining.  Much like your team this movie has a new family member involved in the action in each scene.  One scene it may be Leatherface, in the next it is his brother, then his grandpa, then his dad, even the mom gets involved.  So far your team has had success in much the same way,  Maybe that means Sony will pop up here eventually.

Burn Squad and Football Cream

Look I recognize you each deserve your own spot on this list.  I recognize you are both individuals that have put a lot of effort and work into this.  I recognize that you both have the capability to be at the top of this list and have proven in the past that you can be.  But because you two are the only winless teams and combine of a sweet 0-6, I'm gonna put you here together.  And I'm going to give you a movie that few have seen.  Your two team are the Dead Ringers. This is a horror movie made by David Cronenberg.  Yes, this means I recognize your ability to put together absolutely great teams.  However, this time I think you've missed the mark and made something boring.  Also this movie involves two twin brothers that operate as OBGYNs (two different brothers but they pretend to be the same person) and despite wanting to show their differences they end up more similar than they could have imagined.  I don't recommend this movie, Cronenberg has done much better.  Just like I don't recommend your teams, you've both done much better. 

POWER RANKINGS

1. Nic Meyer (Previously 1)
2. Andrew Gomez (Previously 8)
3. Ory Yaslinskiy (Previously 3)
4. Jake Yorke (Previously 2)
5. Gary Meyer (Previously 9)
6. Val Shishkin (Previously 11)
7. Chris Cone (Previously 7)
8. Yuriy Yedinak (Previously 10)
9. Daniel Smith (Previously 6)
10. Chris Pender (Previously 4)
11. Matt Burke (Previously 12)
12. Alex Gomez (Previously 5)

GOOD LUCK NEXT WEEK

Week 2 Recap!

Does Art Emulate Life, or Does Life Emulate Art?

(Otherwise known as: NFL Teams closest to your own).

The Rats Nest - 

Much like the NFL team that my team resembles, I am 2-0.  I use a plethora of running backs, you could say I use three in a RBBC.  Also much like this team, I have no idea if Antonio Brown will last the full season and it is rather important that he does.  Like this NFL team I have beaten what should have been a strong opponent soundly, and then beat the team with the least amount of points for in our league.

What team am I?

Greenbowl Packers -

In the last two weeks both your team and this NFL team has come away with two close, somewhat ugly wins against division opponents.  On your team, just like this NFL team, the QB is one of the all time greats that has been disappointing (although on the real team the QB is not injured).  On both teams the RB1 should be great but is an injury concern, while the RB2 gets usage out of necessity despite being a waste of time.  Both teams are 2-0 but maybe shouldn't be.

What team are you?

MBs 3rd Annual Shitshow - 

Just like your NFL team, you are 0-2.  Just like your NFL team you are told that your RB1 is a talented guy, but does that matter if he really can't do anything?  Much like your NFL team your WR group shows some promise, but your QB can't help them and the running game is nonexistent. Much like your NFL team you have been deemed a "shitshow" (by yourself in this case, but I'll take what I can get). 

What team are you?

Squidward's Revenge - 

Like your NFL team, injuries have decimated your team early in the season. Like your NFL team you are 0-2.  Like your NFL team (well this is a stretch but bear with me) you held out of the draft like a star player is holding out of the team.  Like your NFL team, WRs certainly aren't the biggest worry your team has.  Like your NFL team, one of your starting RBs is old as dirt and has been accused of some "unsavory" conduct.  Like your NFL team, the defense is middling.

What team are you?

Mustard Tigers - 

Like your NFL team you are 2-0.  Like your NFL team your WRs don't look like the strongest bunch, but they're getting the job done.  Like your NFL team you've got a clear RB1, but the other RBs can certainly be involved in a strong way.  Both teams had good defensive play week 1, and middling defensive play week 2 (not fantasy production).  TE is a very strong position on both teams.

What team are you?

BB Baker's Boys  -

You and your NFL team are both 1-1.  Both you and your NFL team had a surprising loss to a team that was projected to be worse.  Both teams had RBs that showed pretty poorly week 1, but looked stronger in week 2.  Both teams had a defense that looked terrible in week 1, but had a nice bounce back in week 2.  Both teams have made questionable decisions that have led to losses (in your case, keeping any of your WRs on the bench for Duke Johnson Jr.). 

What team are you?

Rip Lips - 

Both teams are 1-1.  Both teams 1 wins were extremely close, and if there were any corrections they may have been losses.  Both teams had an RB play extremely poorly in the first game, to lightly make up for it in the second game.  Both have defenses that are considered one of the best in the game, but they haven't been making a significant difference as of yet.

What team are you?

Football Cream  -

Both teams are 0-2.  Both teams have amazing talent at both the WR and RB spots, but can't seem to make that talent turn into wins.  Both teams have question-marks at QB when it should have been a strong part of their team.  Both teams have a backup that came into the game (Alex, yours is on your bench) in week 2 and did pretty good, if not better than the starter. 

What team are you?

DonJulios Underdogs - 

Both teams are 2-0.  Both teams have iffy QB play that is somehow working very well.  Both teams biggest names are at the WR position, but the unproven RB is showing up and doing work.  Both teams defense has been solid, not spectacular, but solid.  Both teams have depth that could be concerning if the starters go down, but then again, they may not.

What team are you?

Mr Rodgers Neighborhood - 

Both teams are 1-1.  Despite a Hall of fame QB, and great RB1 play, both teams have won a game by less than a TD and lost a game by less than a TD.  The TE play for both teams is essentially non-existent.  The WRs do a good job of keeping both teams in games, but they're not necessarily winning the games on their own.  The defense, which should be elite, is doing well but not great.  Both teams have a running back they are waiting on.

What team are you?

The Chorne Zhopas - 

Both teams are 1-1.  Both teams had a surprise win over an opponent that was favored, and a surprise loss over a team that was an underdog.  Both teams have had shaky QB performance that still resulted in some points, but not a whole lot.  Both teams have had consistent TE performance, even if it isn't always huge, it's always there.  Both teams have had a WR that should perform each week, under perform and hurt the team. 

What team are you?

Fresno Facecleaters - 

Both teams are 0-2.  Both teams had close loses that really could have been wins pretty easily.  Both teams have general managers that have once won championships.  Both teams seem to have one running back that does okay, but good luck guessing which one it is each week.  Both teams have WRs that can perform, but they don't seem to be able to every week.  Both teams have a defense that was supposed to be good, but thus far has under performed. 

What team are you?

POWER RANKINGS

1. The Rats Nest (Last week 1)
2. DonJulios Underdogs (Last week 9)
3. Mustard Tigers (Last week 3)
4. BB Bakers Boys (Last week 4)
5. Football Cream (Last week 5)
6. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood (Last week 7)
7. Fresno Facecleaters (Last week 8)
8. Squidward's Revenge (Last week 2)
9. Rip Lips (Last week 6)
10. The Chorne Zhopas (Last week 10)
11. Valeriy Shishkin (Last week 11)
12. MBs 3rd Annual Shitshow (Last week 12)

GOOD LUCK IN WEEK 3 DUDES.

Week 1 Recap!

GAME REVIEW

DonCobbs Underdogs vs. The Chorne Zhopas

A game between the 9th and 10th highest scores of the week someone had to win.  Jake comes out ahead, just barely.  In a remarkably close matchup, Jake comes out ahead on the strength of his RBs, and his overall ability to be slightly more mediocre than Yuriy.  Yuriy however really absolutely could have won.  Can you imagine if he had put Larry Fitzgerald in instead of Mike Williams or Robbie Anderson?  I'm sure he can.  Don't beat yourself up, one day you too can be just like Jameis Winston.

Mustard Tigers . vs. Rip Lips

Ory puts up the third highest score of the week, and all without a second round pick on his team!  Dad you didn't do too bad, you scored directly in the middle of the pack, and you could have won if you didn't fall into your ultimate downfall, the Chicago Bears.  I want you to stare deeply into the gif above and decide if he played a joke on you, or if he's promising he'll be better next time.  Ory, Mahomes did pretty well even if he was the second best QB in that game behind Gardner Minshew, but your real MVP has gotta be the Jets.  Just all around NY came out to play for you, be it Josh Allen personally delivering points to the Jets D, or Bell never leaving the playing field.  

Football Cream vs. BB Baker's Boys

EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS OVER!  Then Tyrell Williams came, shouted "F*** AB," (we edit for the children here) and realized that rhymes with AG.  So Chris wins during a late Monday night game.  I'm sure Alex is probably beating himself up over sitting DJax and starting Samuel, and I'll tell ya, you should.  DJax blows up week 1 every single year, and you might get the second week 2.  Good luck.  Ultimately this game came down to the biggest burst from players and Chris had the best in the week with Sammy Watkins.  

The Autobots versus The Greenbowl Packers

(Note:  I wanted to find Corey Davis from this week, but I'm not certain he existed)

Somehow the bottom two scoring teams faced each other, and one had to win.  Val gets the win in what might be considered a consolation bracket in week one.  Both of these teams are giving me high hopes that my road to the playoffs may be easy.  5 RBs were played between both teams for a total of 28.4‬ points.  I legitimately thought that Matt's team was going to look great coming into the season, and this first week certainly blew that up.  Hopkins at least looked great, and you've got Gio Bernard on your bench so at least you're not already blowing things up for injury.  Val, I just feel bad that you literally have to start Howard or Drake each week. That sucks.

The Rat's Nest vs. Squidward's Revenge

Look, I'm not gonna talk too much about this one.  Everything hit!  Except Matt Bryant, my kicker literally gave me 0.  I'd say it hurts but everything felt good.  Andrew on the other hand puts up the second highest score and still got blown tf out, and lost Tyreek Hill for like 5-7 weeks.  Incoming tasteless joke:  Tyreek and his son can have matching slings now.  That said, I was incredibly worried about going against your team because I thought if Henry went off you could be scary, turns out that it was scary and your team could be incredibly good.

GAME OF THE WEEK:

Mr Rodgers Neighborhood vs. Fresno Facecleaters

The first game of the league with decimals points added, and already we have a game decided by less than 1 point.  And what a game it was!  After the ridiculous game Watson threw up it looked like D Smith had taken a hard loss, with only one player wearing a nasty orange jersey.  Sutton was the lone bright spot on the Donkeys last night, and he propelled you to a win by .3 points.  

This game is a tale of two teams, Chris' team is the boom or bust.  A few players carrying a bunch of dead weight, and while that dead weight may not always be such, this week they held you back.  Daniel's team is fairly consistent, with one standout and a couple pretty poor performances. Chris could have won, but who would have played DJ Chark at any point?  We now live or die by the decimal, and Chris I'll let you be the judge on if it's better or worse.  

Power Rankings:

1. Nic Meyer (A+ Draft ranking 👍)
2. Andrew Gomez (B+ Draft ranking 👍)
3. Orest Yaslinskiy (B Draft ranking 😐)
4. Chris Pender (D Draft ranking 🤯)
5. Alex Gomez (B+ Draft ranking 👍)
6. Gary Meyer (B- Draft ranking 😐)
7. Daniel Smith (C Draft ranking 😐)
8. Chris Cone (B Draft ranking 🙁)
9. Jake Yorke (C+ Draft ranking 😐)
10. Yuriy Yedinak (A- Draft ranking 🙁🙁)
11. Valeriy Shishkin (D+ Draft ranking 👍)
12. Matt Burke (A Draft ranking 🙁🙁)
    

Worth noting, every team went against the team they were matched next to except Ory and Gary.  Remarkably even matched week.

Good luck week 2.

2019 For Real's Guys League Draft Recap!

2019 IS HERE

I hope you all are as excited as I am for the newest installment of the NFL show, this season should be great.  I'm expecting a few twists and turns, and a few loose ends tied up.  Is this the last time we will see Tom Brady and the Patriots in a leading role?  Will Drew Brees finally get the MVP committee to fall in love with him?  Will Mahomes be a candle that burned too brightly, or will his fire last longer than the Menorah? Will Antonio Brown's helmet fit correctly?  There's only one way to know the answers, and that is to tune in and find out as each new episode is released weekly.

Also, as a complete sidenote, comment if you find the new mobile layout on ESPN much more difficult to use?  I'm having a hard time accessing other team's rosters. It's possible, but not accessible.

DRAFT GRADES

The Autobots (Matthew Burke).

Pros: A balanced approach with few holes.  Your WRs do not have huge question-marks and they are anchored by arguably the best, DeAndre Hopkins. Thielen can prove that the beginning of the last season was real, or he could be an okay receiver, hard to see worse. Moore and Marvin Jones Jr. also slate to be competent at worst.  I'm not a fan of Mixon, but he'll get you some points and you did get Giovani as a solid hedge to injury history.  Your pick of Sony Michel has a strong chance at being the best value in the draft.  Henry, if you believe, can be great.  The argument I've heard is that Rivers loves his TE, but how much is truth, and how much was it just having Antonio Gates forever?

Cons: Your depth feels lacking.  Giovani was a great pick, but after that I'm not certain many of these guys could plug in during bye weeks and show anything of relevance.  Of course, I didn't draft them so your opinion could be wildly different.  Ben Roethlisberger has been good in the past, but people seriously underestimate how much losing Brown could hurt him. 

Grade: A

Greenbowl Packers (Valeriy Shishkin)

Pros: You have a strong chance at having both the WR1 and RB1 on the year. I think Gurley's knee issues were overstated and that he will likely be fine, and we know how great a healthy Gurley is. Juju should be interesting too, will he be the same force without the best WR in football lining up across from him?  TY Hilton could be a steal at his draft price if Jacoby Brisset proves usable, and Drew Brees is great when Taysom Hill isn't stealing his TDs. OJ Howard has some nice upside if he can stay healthy. Adam Humphries and John Brown on the bench could be nice depth pieces.

Cons: Melvin Gordon. That situation doesn't look good, and you don't have any of his backups. That's a potential blackhole on your bench for most of the season.  Does Corey Davis actually exist or is he simply a figment of Mariota's imagination (living in Eugene OR does weird things to a person, trust me).  Jordan Howard has to prove himself against a rookie and a literal senior citizen, is it possible just like a middle child he gets ignored?  Kenyan Drake is on an XFL team as far as I'm aware, and it's worth noting you have two players on this XFL team.  3 TEs is not preferable, especially when you have a starter that you probably won't want to bench.

Grade: D+

 

Squidward's Revenge (Andrew Gomez)

Pros: Oh boy... That WR corp looks amazing.  Like really, really good.  Hill can blow up, Thomas is consistently good, Cooper can blow up (and if he doesn't it's likely covered by one of the other guys), and Jeffery is the WR1 on the Eagles.  For how good this WR corp looks, I'd expect your RBs to be garbage, and they aren't premiere but they're better than I would have guessed.  Cam Newton also has a ton of upside.

Cons: Christian Kirk may come out strong if you believe in the Cardinals offense, but I don't want to believe in the Cardinals at all this year.  With the amount of boom/bust players you have on your team I think it's incredibly possible that some weeks you could score 200+, and other weeks you could score less-than 100.  Volatility is the name of the game, and I believe in swinging for the fences, but you have Derrick Henry and Amari Cooper starting for the same team and that's gotta be terrifying.  Guice is a complete question-mark, and Adrian Peterson could come back from the dead one-more time to steal all his touches.  Also, your TE situation may be worse than bleak.

Grade: B+

Rip Lips (Gary Meyer)

Pros: Alvin Kamara is super good. Kupp, Golladay, and Sanders all have the chance to be at least a WR2, and in Kupp's case he could be absolutely amazing.  I hear people say that James Washington could be a thing, and who knows how PIT keeps getting great WRs but there is a history there.  Matt Ryan is a fake, but he can put up good fantasy numbers. You picked your favorite team's defense, and there certainly could be arguments that they were worthy of where you picked them.

Cons: So, let's say that Leonard Fournette hurts his leg, or David Montgomery is not relied upon as much as expected.  Who in the world are you going to play instead?  Sure there's Washington, but would you really want to rely on Carlos Hyde?  Darrell Henderson (someone who isn't promised anything)? Marquise Brown? I mean, your starting lineup looks really solid but given the risk associated with these guys, I think your Chicago D pick could have helped pick some much needed depth.

Grade: B-

Football Cream (Alex Gomez)

Pros: You can absolutely cheer along for the Eagles while watching It's Always Sunny this year.  You've earned that right (especially if you consider that Golden Tate is wearing an Eagles jersey in his headshot).  Lockett, Adams, Woods, and Samuel is a great WR corp to start with.  It's not the strongest in the league, but it's probably one of the top.  Backing them up with DeSean Jaccson and Golden Tate might be a nice hedge too.  Kittle is a top 3 TE, and your team doesn't look worse for wear after getting him.  Chubb should be good, but you might also be setting yourself up for playoff disappointment again if Hunt really does steal touches.

Cons: Wentz gets injured a lot, and if he goes down so does the value of your PHI players.  Can Ekeler really handle a strong workload or do you think he goes back to his pass-catching back?  Adrian Peterson isn't great depth, and while Miles Sanders has a shot, I remember the Eagles backfield in the past and it wasn't wonderful.  

Grade: B+

BB Baker's Boys (Chris Pender)

Pros: You have officially made the team your own with your new name.  Gotta feel good about that.  You also went out and got your two boys, Baker and Landry.  Zeke signed his contract, and you now own the highest paid RB in the league, so that's nice.  He'll also probably be really good. I hear people like Kerryon Johnson, and while I'm not fully certain why, he probably should be serviceable at worst.  While I absolutely despise Travis Kelce, he'll probably get you some points and will mean you should win your TE battle almost every week.  Cole Beasley could be PPR gold.

Cons: So I can tell who your 1-2-3 picks are. After that I'm pretty much guessing where you got each player, and that's not a great place to be.  Duke Johnson Jr. in Houston feels uncertain, Sammy Watkins health, feels uncertain, Tyrell Williams has potential but also uncertain.  Those are the starters too, the bench has some upside but not enough for this to be the starting lineup.  You'll want to look to get some WRs if at least one bench player doesn't pan out immediately. I respect your picks as they are on the teams you want to watch, and that's a huge part of the fun, but I do worry that you may have limited your value immensely.

Grade: D

Mustard Tigers (Ory Yaslinskiy)

Pros: You drafted Antonio Brown, which I'm assuming everyone knows I think this is a great pick.  Enjoy watching the Raiders.  You've got Mahomes, which I'm told people think is a good thing.  Le'Veon Bell has fresh legs, and he completes your "former Steelers" card set.  I also like Phillip Lindsay, dude is the definition of moxy.  Ertz is also a nice set-it-and-forget-it TE.  Your bench currently has a good deal of upside potentially.  

Cons: Well, Mahomes could regress and we'd still have to listen to his interviews.  You've got something of a giant hole in your roster, one that has you slated to start Paul Richardson.  Allen Robinson was good with Bortles, and he was alright last year, but do you actually trust Trubiskiy (fun fact, spell check has that as me typing out "rubbishy")?  

Grade: B

Fresno Facecleaters (Chris Cone)

Pros: The closest thing to a hole in your starting lineup is your TE, and even he has potential.  You've got bonafide starters in both your top two WR and RB slots, and Deshaun Watson as your QB. That's a good start.  Sterling Shepard could surprise people and the Giants may not be as bad as advertised.  Jones and Mack both have potential to have big seasons, and you did get Legatron.

Cons: Jones and Mack are both injury prone, and while you do have Peyton Barber (a legitimate starter), you may have a hard time filling both holes if they arise.  David Johnson wasn't a bad pick, but I can imagine a world in which the Cardinals do not actually get better and he underwhelms again.  You've got a kicker on your bench, I strongly strongly recommend against this.  You cannot play a kicker in your flex.  

Grade: B

Mr Rodgers Neighborhood (Daniel Smith)

Pros: The name is legitimately back!!! I was quite excited about this. Saquan might be the best RB in the league, and no one can argue the pick.  Freeman is a great RB2 provided he can stay healthy.  Keenan and Ridley are both potentially good WRs with a few downsides.  I like Jared Cook, and I think he could be a big component of success on your team. Grabbing both SF RBs is probably going to be worth points and will let you watch your favorite team.

Cons: Look, having two top QBs of the last decade sounds good, but in actuality is there ever a time you'll start a 41 year-old Brady over Rodgers?  I think that pick may have been a bit of a waste.  Kareem Hunt is a black hole on your bench, tell me any way that you will feel comfortable playing him when he comes back week 10.  N'keal Harry is literally on IR.  I don't trust Courtland Sutton even a bit.

Grade: C

DonCobbs Underdogs (Jake Yorke - League Champion)

Pros: Julio Jones is a player that always scores points.  Last time he scored 10+ TDs was with the same OC he has now, so there's a good possibility he is used better than he was last year.  If Dalvin Cook can stay healthy and James White continues to catch many passes, your RBs should be solid.  Godwin is in a great position to have a big year.  Locking up whichever WR proves to be the 2nd best in Green Bay is probably going to pay off.  

Cons: Taking the whole time every pick in the draft.  Stefon Diggs is already nursing a hamstring injury that might take him out of week 1.  Your TEs both have potential, but neither have a promise.  Damien Williams on your bench must have originally looked absolutely brilliant, now it is scary (there is a lot of potential there still).  Both Tarik Cohen and James White have players that are supposed to make them less effective and less utilized.

Grade: C+

The Chorne Zhopas (Yuriy Yedinak)

Pros: I think there are serious arguments that could be made for each of your players finishing in the top 20 at their position.  Assuming Robby Anderson actually plays, I'm not spotting any significant weakness in your starting lineup.  The closest is Mike Williams, and even that guy has big potential with Melvin Gordon sitting out.  Lots of handcuffs for yourself on your bench. 

Cons: Judging by the amount of handcuffs on your bench I assume that you are preparing for the long-haul, no trading, few waiver picks, rely on draft season. I don't know if I've seen that successful so good luck.  If Mark Ingram II should go down and Gus Edwards gets the start, you actually don't have another RB.  I also am wondering what you think about byes, do you really want to play two players from the same team?  

Grade: A- 

The Rats Nest (Nic Meyer)

Pros: Made this blog.  Drafted with literally 6 people in the same room and didn't make eye contact or talk to them once.  Got at least 1 Raiders player.  Got called anti-social 3 times for doing this.  Worked menorah into the blog.  Decided to use Andrew Luck gifs to describe your draft, and almost all of them were positive.  

Cons: I think Andrew Luck's positive attitude made my grades a bit soft.

Grade: A+

RANKINGS BASED ON BIASED REPORTING:

1. Nic Meyer
2. Matt Burke
3. Yuriy Yedinak
4. Andrew Gomez
5. Alex Gomez
6. Chris Cone
7. Ory Yaslinskiy
8. Gary Meyer
9. Jake Yorke
10. Daniel Smith
11. Valeriy Shishkin
12. Chris Pender