Week 5 recap!

Hey guys,

This week may have been the most frustrating week of fantasy football I have ever played.  The three main reasons are shown right above.  I mean, not that I'm counting or anything, but that TD in the last frame would have won me my week, and it would have counted if it weren't for one #77 James Carpenter deciding that play would be a good time to drop a damn PEOPLE'S ELBOW on the unlucky Redskins d-lineman. 

Anyway, I digress.  The league has still been random as all hell, one week someone is doing good and the next they're worse than Trent Richardson.  Things continue to progress as they seemingly do always: Yuriy is getting beaten on, Alex's team is off to a good start, there's one undefeated team to that has yet to go on their unlucky streak and I'm 2-3.  I'm gonna have a nice long write up I think, so let's get right into the meat of the article.

CHART MADNESS!!!

Top Points For:

1. Prepare Your McManus! (hahaha, it's not pronounced anus) - 734 points
2. Demarius Derp! ! - 730 points
3. Mr Rodgers Neighborhood - 704 points

Top Points Against:

1. Team Flutteringhorde - 740 points against (everyone has their best week against you, sorry).
2.   Demarius Derp! ! -731 points against (back to the norm, but own it up.  Pass up Alex in PF).
3. Colonel Sanders - 695 points against.

Least Points For:

1. Team Flutteringhorde - 483 points for (gotta make the right moves, season is not over).
2. Greenbowl Packers - 516 points for
3. TIE Full Metal Jacket and Freedom 35 - 573 points for.  *Our division is awesome* 

So let's think about this for a second.  The person with the most points for is 1 game up on his division.  The undefeated person doesn't show up on any of these lists. Every season Yuriy is the most beat up on (I don't do it on purpose Yuriy, I have no way to tell), and the Gomez team is just destined for failure.  YARO: thanks for wishing for McCoy to get hurt.  Because of that I'm pretty sure Megatron is out for a few weeks.  I understand wanting to do well, but when you wish for injury that's what you get homie.  Enjoy.

POWER RANKINGS:

  RIVALRY OF THE WEEK:
Yeah that's right, new category.  Deal with it.

Sunday Morning Woodhead beats Dog DontMind 151 - 134

 (I hope this picture is sufficient).

These two have known each other since I've known the both of them.  Both Sbux Shift supervisors for long periods of time (AFAIK Jared still is), and both excellent dudes of the utmost ability, their rivalry is not to be understated.  These two love to hate each other.  Each year they battle for the Yaslinskiy Grube trophy, or the trophy of the West.  This week Ory had given up before Moday had even started.  Actually at Oct 5 at 1:06PM (or Sunday before even Afternoon games had began), Ory had declared the loss definitely.  After this Andre Ellington blew up and Stephen Gostkowski blew up (THE KICKER JAJAJAJA).  and then somehow, someway, Ory came out with the win.  Now for the last, oh I dunno, 3 years? (seriously, I don't remember), this rivalry has been one of the most heated.  I'm glad too because this win was snatched from the jaws of defeat.  I hope in years to come Ory and Jared will remember this and brawl, to the bloody death because if not for fantasy what is this life for?

Congrats to your Yaslinskiy Grube Bowl ORY, you won the game.

Game of the Week:

Freedom 35 manages to lose to Greenbowl Packers 106 to 104.

Somehow the two worst teams in the best division (because I'm in it) managed to almost both lose.  Arian Foster carried the worst performance by Michael Crabtree yet, which must be terrible because he's a sorry ass receiver.  Forsett, Wright and Steven Jackson proved to be useless as Matthew Stafford couldn't help but not put up any points to at least score.  Luck continues to do fine, despite Greenbowl Packers overall team, and AJ Green does just as well as his crayon color, third best. 

This game, while close, did not come down to the last minute because nobody had a player in the Monday Night game.  It's not important because this game was the closest, and one of the losers had to win.  Good job on beating down Yaro, Val.  And Yaro, good job on wishing injuries on someone because now you're left without your 1st pick.  Enjoy, 

BOLD PREDICTIONS:

Alex's Prediction

"Ben Tate will go 90 yards/1 TD
Bonus Prediction: Sankey will score more fantasy points than Eddie Lacy...boom bitches "

More than 90 yards, less than 1 td.  Sankey didn't score shit.  GJ

Nic's Prediction

"Hester has one receiving TD and one KR TD"

No TD's, less than 50 yards :/.

 

Ory's Prediction

"Andrew Hawkins Catches a TD.. Browns still lose.."

No Hawkins TD at all, and Browns won.  We're awful at this shit.

Jared's Prediction

" Doug Baldwin with 100+ yards and 2tds. The Niners sack Alex Smith 5times. Cardinals beat the Broncos."

Pretty sure none of these happened.  3 predictions, none right.

Matt's Prediction

"Packers D will be the highest scoring position on Team Derp"

If not for Demaryius, you would have been correct.

MATT WINS THIS WEEK.

SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT TO JAKE YORKE, YURIY YEDINAK, AND RICARDO JURADO FOR LEAST INVOLVED OWNERS.

GJ WINNING JAKE, NOW DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, TALK A BIT, DO SOMETHING STOP BEING LAME-ASS PUNKS THAT DON'T SAY OR DO ANYTHING.  YOU'RE LIKE BOTS IN TIMESPLITTERS 2, ANNOYING.

Jake, you owe us a video.