WEEK 9 RECAP

The week of double digits. 5 games left until the playoffs. That gives some wiggle room to the teams that are struggling to stay afloat, but not much. We have two 7-2 teams (Matt and Gary) that are almost locks to get into the playoffs. They could theoretically lose out and go 7-7, but that might still let them into the playoffs. Then we have Alex at 6-3, who needs to win at least once to have a chance, but probably 2 more wins and is good. Then at 5-4 we have myself, Jake, and Yuriy. That gives us 6 out of 6. The three of us at 5-4 are not safe whatsoever and likely will want to win 3 out of 5 to feel good. Jake and myself hold tiebreakers over everyone else at the moment, and those may come into play. Now my speculation means you’ll want at least 7 wins but ideally 8 to get into the playoffs. That is a tall order for those of you at 3-6. I would recommend doing WHATEVER you need to do to win each week. Trade pieces that do not work for you now, because later it won’t matter if you wait.

Weekly Awards

Best Manager

Nic of Tone’s Herb Seasoning and Gary of Rip Lips both set their best possible lineup.

Worst Manager

Yuriy of the Goo Backs got destroyed by his bench and could have scored an additional 50.9 points.

Biggest Blowout

Rip Lips 152.96 vs Greenbowl Packers 89.86

Gary got wildly lucky in his matchup playing Elijah Moore and Kenyan Drake as spot starts for his decimated roster. OF COURSE they would do great and he would get a win. He also just blew the doors off of Val’s team, even though Val looked like he was making all the right moves. Sometimes it goes that way, but my dad CANNOT keep getting away with this! He wins by a margin of 63.1 points.

Narrow Victory

Fly Boyds 124.88 vs Goo Backs 106.72

Matt and the Fly Boyds flew to victory over the Goo Backs by 18.16 points. It was a week full of blowouts and that led to this being the closest matchup. Honestly Matt, I’m also a little confused about how your team has done so well. 7-2 is not easy and I just don’t really get it. But whatever. Yuriy, you’ll be seeing a lot about Edmonds and Conner so just be ready. At least CMC looks good in his return, and he gets Cam Newton back.

Highest Score (And Overachiever):

Alex’s Football Cream dropped 153.78 points and overshot their expected point total scoring 120.6% of projected. Somehow in a week where everyone did poorly you did well. This was Tom Brady’s bye week L.

Lowest Score (And Underachiever):

Ory, Daniel, and the Colt 49’s promptly showed what Derrick Henry met and had the lowest score of the week making only 57% of their projected. I’m sorry, not only did losing Henry stink but no one decided to step up in his place. At least there is Waller.

QB of the Week:

Lamar Jackson of the Auto Draft Machines with 36.64 points.

RB of the Week:

James Conner of the Goo Backs with 40.3 points.

WR of the Week:

Elijah Moore of Rip Lips with 27.4 points.

TE of the Week:

Pat Freiermuth of the Football Creams with 21.3 points. SIGH The Muth is luth.

QB Benchwarmer:

Matt Ryan of the 5 Yard Fullers with 32.52 points.

RB Benchwarmer:

James Conner of the Goo Backs with 40.3 points (OUCH).

WR Benchwarmer:

Marquise Brown of the Fresno Browns Streaks with 20.6 points.

TE Benchwarmer:

Jared Cook of the Greenbowl Packers with 10.8 points.

BOGUS and Bizarre Roster Spots and Statistics

Nic

Dallas CRUMBLED and their D/ST and Kicker scored 0. This is a lesson on putting too much faith into one team.

Andrew

Playing Tommy Sweeney can only be seen as one thing - desperate. Wildly desperate.

Alex

What's going on with Aaron Jones? He's like the only Packers star without COVID and still one of the most impacted by it.

Pender

Tyrod Taylor had just about the worst day a QB can have. 3 picks! No TDs! What happened to T-Mobile? 

Matt

Will you ever be able to actually figure out when to play Tyler Boyd?

Val

The way the Raiders use Bryan Edwards is infuriating! This guy is a good WR and could be good but they just don't use him. He gets like a desperation heave once and a while. He could be a fantastic possession receiver. I fell for this too for many weeks. I dunno, just don't trust the Raiders.

Gary

Elijah Moore? Kenyan Drake? Cordarelle Patterson? What sort of witch craft are you doing?! And I'm your son! Let me in on it please.

Yuriy

Chase Edmonds going out on the first play was disastrous. James Conner scoring 40 after that was debilitating. I was going to really go into it, but I just feel bad for you. Rodgers could not have helped.

Jake

The DJ Moore drop-off has been unreal and unfortunate. Do you think that Cam coming back can actually help him? This guy is cursed.

D-Smith

Noah Fant was inactive my guy! You had the Ertz! You're missing them Sunday morning checks, and it shows. 

Ory and  Daniel 

Patrick Mahomes sucks. The Chiefs suck. I've been saying this for years, and I will reap the vindication that it was not just homerism. Cover 2 Shell was all it took to bring the mighty down. Andy Reid was fired from Philly for a reason. 

Cone

Chris! That's two weeks with inactive players in the lineup and replacement players on your bench. I quote the rules here: "All franchises are responsible to make sure their lineups are updated before kickoff of the first game of the week. No exceptions will be made. If longer than 2 weeks go by without lineup changes, the owner may be subject to banning." So please, play full lineups my guy!

POWER RANKINGS:

1. Gary (Previously Ranked 5) (Made it here through voodoo magic)
2. Alex (Previously ranked 6)
3. Nic (Previously ranked 2)
4. Jake (Previously ranked 3)
5. Matt (Previously ranked 1)
6. Yuriy (Previously ranked 4)
7. Cone (Previously ranked 7)
8. Andrew (previously ranked 10)
9. Val (Previously ranked 9)
10. Pender (Previously ranked 8)
11. D-Smith (Previously ranked 11)
12. Ory and Daniel (Previously ranked 12)