Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Week 6 Recap!

 LOOKING AT MATCH-UPS

This week I'm going back to something a bit more normal. First off, I have to inform everyone that because of the state of social media today I can no longer easily find gifs from this weeks games.  If anyone knows of a source that would be great but I'm not counting on it.  Instead, I have to sink real low.  I have to embed tweets.  You have been warned.






Week 6 is in the books. That means we are just about halfway through (13 weeks regular season, that means at halftime of the 1pm games were halfway through... I think).  Things are starting to shake out.  We still have a (technically) undefeated team, and one team with only 1 win.  To give you a feeling of how things could play out, and to remind you that it's still early I will say this.

Jake at 5-0-1 could still finish at 5-7-1.  Matt at 1-5 could still finish 8-5.  Anyone can make the playoffs still, and anything can happen.  Last year at this time Chubb still wasn't starting.  Last year at this time we thought Jake's team was done for, and he won the championship.

Weird Coincidences:


  • Both Andrew and Alex are first and second (respectively) in points against. Our league is really bullying the Gomez bros.
  • Cone holds the last wildcard spot at this moment, less than 0.5 games ahead of Alex.  Alex's team is a top 5 scoring team in the league.
  • Alex campaigned heavily to remove ties in the league by implementing decimal point scoring.  Alex was a part of the only tie this season.  If we had not implemented decimal point scoring, Alex would have won with a score of 150-149.  
  • Mr Rodgers Neighborhood has really been Mr. Brady's Neighborhood.  That is a terrifying place. Tom Brady kisses all of children directly on the lips.  It looks strange.
  • Val has, by far, the most overperforming player of the year in NE D/St.  He still didn't score over 100.
ONTO CINCINNATI. 

Greenbowl Packers versus The Chorne Zhopas




via Gfycat

Much like the older punk (Broncos fan) in this picture emerges from nowhere, Yuriy's team seemed to emerge from nowhere. At 2-4 Yuriy has been... well like James Conner really, not matching expectations. This week was different though, and in another strange parallel Yuriy beat down Val proving that Ukraine is superior, and that the Steelers are better than the Chargers after all.

I mean, Yuriy literally started the only QB that looked worse than Winston yesterday in Goff, the guy that couldn't hit 100 yards passing and Val still couldn't find the relief aid that Yuriy was dropping to his team.  Yuriy's team also showed up and did a good job.  An interesting aspect of this, that I would certainly like to note is that Yuriy dropped $40 FAAB for that sweet sweet 2.9 points.  Well spent.

Yuriy wins 137.6 to 95.5 (not even enough to make a Nick Lachey reference).


Mustard Tigers versus DonJulios Underdogs

This gif represents what happened when Mason Crosby hit his first field goal of the night on Monday. I know in the back of Ory and Jake's mind there was a thought that maybe, just maybe, Crosby would miss a few kicks and Ory would pull out that <1pt victory.  Well it didn't happen.  And any excuse I can make for Ory can be automatically get kicked back.  You may ask why, and I'll tell you why. Because Jake left Diggs' only complete blow up of a game for the year on his bench.  That means no excuses.

This game was a representation between the two top team in divisions that aren't my own, and I'm happy to say that one of them lost.  Can we make this a streak for Ory?  We'll see.

Jake beats Ory 143.6 - 132.1

Mr Rodgers Neighborhood versus Football Cream


I choose this gif, ahem Tweet (what have I become....), because to me this Tweet represents where Alex is at right now.  Alex is a team that is short of wins, has never won a championship, and jumped well past his height to score well and beat a team.

Side note: Alex has both Golden Tate and Auden Tate on his team. If you haven't heard, Au is the chemical nomenclature for...Gold.  This means, if we believe in math, that he has Golden Tate and Goldden Tate. Shiny.

Alex has pulled together two wins in a row, is probably feeling pretty confident, and maybe a bit excited.  Well, you're still the really small dude (in wins, not necessarily height. Might be both, I don't think I know how tall you are) chipping away at the feet of people that have won championships.  Keep pushing and maybe you'll get there. Maybe.

Alex wins 157.1 - 129.6

Burn Squad versus BB Baker's Boys

You know Andrew, I'll be completely honest this isn't fully fair.  Every other winning team has gotten a gif based on their team.  Unfortunately, my gif for this game is based upon Chris' team.  Chris could have won if he played Metcalf and Cousins, and unfortunately for him he dropped the open pass.

Andrew, I feel like for every player that gets healthy on your team another one drops out.  Your WR corp is absolutely phenomenal, but they can't seem to stay on the field at the same time.  Hill comes back and out goes Amari with what I've hear described as "the worst pain he's ever felt." You can Google that quote, but I just made it up.  With that said, Andrew you're still the real loser here.  You have two kickers on your team and one of them isn't even on bye.

Andrew wins 128.9 - 114.4

Rip Lips versus Mixed Thielens



This should be clear.  Not only do you have Hyde on your team dad, but I could also see you yelling this exact same thing into a camera after running fast for less than 10 seconds.

Really though, your team is looking dominant. Kupp didn't perform and you still put up 140+.  Hooper is a lot better than my previous text messages to you would suggest, and I'll admit so far I've been wrong. I still wonder if he falls back to Earth, but maybe not.

Matt, you've got potential kid.

Oscar wins 146.8 - 118.1

F-Town CharkAttacks versus The Rats Nest




This gif represents the only thing my team did well, CMC touchdowns. 

Look I'm pretty sure I just ran into a voodoo curse because Chris changed his name for the first time ever.  He changes his name and WRs on my team cease to exist completely with ESPN only giving them scores because they're confused as to why the WRs are no longer on the teams.

Something like that.

I played Hilliman, admittedly that was getting cute and pretty dumb.  David Johnson for sure killed me though, if he didn't score that last TD I think I actually could have won.  What do I know though.

Chris wins 119.7 - 107.4



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