Week 6 Recap!

(Extra Credit if you can tell me what's wrong with this picture).

I've personally learned something today. finding Gifs of the NFL is mostly impossible as they find a way to go through and destroy each and everyone of them as quickly as they can.

Now, with the decline in viewership I must wonder, why are people tuning out?  I guess the question comes back to, why do you love football?  Is it tradition, is the athletic freak plays, is it the feeling of camaraderie with a team, a competitive drive with no real outlet, the players and their stories, an excuse to drink at 10am?  I can't really pinpoint it.  If I had to guess why they're losing viewers I would guess that it's because they don't have any good primetime games scheduled.  They keep scheduling loser, boring teams that also have key injuries that make them less competitive.  That's my guess.  Anyway, I'm going to take a look at the random people in the top 10 at each position.

WEIRD TOP 10 PLAYERS:

QB: 

• MARCUS MARIOTA - I guess it's not a huge stretch, but this guy is ranked above Cam Newton, above Aaron Rodgers, and above Eli Manning.  He has 6 ints and 2 fumbles!  This turnover machine can also run though, and he won't stop doing such.
• DAK PRESCOTT - Good ole #10 himself.  Who thought the Cowboys of all teams would find themselves a 4th round darling.  He's doing so well that they might bench Romo for him.  He finds himself in the top 10 despite failing to score a TD for the first 3 (2?) weeks of the season.

RB:

• MELVIN GORDON - I guess the workload was always a possibility, but how can a guy go from being a bum to being a star so quickly?  Hell, he's probably a huge part of the reason that Alex is doing so well.  With Woodhead out somehow the idiot Chargers still have a rushing attack.
• TEVIN COLEMAN - The backup for the #1 back of last year, Coleman is 1 spot ahead of Freeman this year.  Damn that Atl backfield is hot fire right now.  And to think, we all made fun of Val.  Him and Yuriy are laughing to winning (ish) records.
• THE GARRETTE BLUNT - Patriots RB in the top 10 scoring?  Better bench him for the rest of the season Bill, seriously.  Don't wanna get to predictable now.

WR:

• STARVIN MARVIN JONES - Marvatron, the Great Marv, that other Jones, my favorite Marvin, etc.  How does this guy go from being 3rd string on the Bengals to lighting the world on fire in Detroit?   It's not like either of these teams are ever actually good.
• TERRELLE PRYOR - Called it guys.  Totally drafter this dude.  He's fast as lightning and part of a team that once had the artist formerly known as sober Gordon (RIP), so it was clear as can be.  Now if only he could take over as full time QB for a bit.

TE:

• I'm not gonna do TE, that shits random as roulette guys.

POWER RANKINGS:

I'm about to be a total tease here guys, Power rankings will recommence next week.  Had my mother visit, had to pick up a cat, school, work, and running an air bnb.  Next week should be a little nicer.

GAME OF THE WEEK PRESENTED BY ORY:

GAME OF THE EASTERN BLOCK. Playing for the right to call themselves “The beast from the east”

VS.

Val took on Yuriy in a match that promised fireworks and loads of shit talk but delivered none. Yuriy, fresh from a week of dodging trades and ignoring texts came in confident. He had the better draft and was looking to shut Val up!! Val, still reeling from the news that his 2nd round pick Eric Decker was out for the year knew that his only chance of winning lay squarely on Freemans shoulders and maybe a bit of luck. The luck was there but that was about it. Yuri easily defeated Val behind a stable of RB’s 136 – 90 and claim the throne of east. After the win Yuriy resumed his life of bong rips and his self-imposed trade embargo. Will this be his year to claim it all? Stay tuned..

Week 5 Recap.

I'm going to be honest guys, I went to the Raiders game on Sunday and because of that I didn't really get to see any of the other games this week.  So I can't really talk about the week that was had in the NFL, aside from that game.  I do think that it seems like what we expected at the start of this year is finally starting to show itself.  Stars are being stars and bums are being bums.

But are the Falcons really that good?  Or is this like the year they went 6-0 only to miss the playoffs?

Is Brian Hoyer actually showing that his skills exist or is it just that no team really plans for the Bears? Will Jay Cutler actually show up again?

Are the 49ers gonna win a game with Kap?  Or is it all in their search for the #1 overall draft pick?

So anyway, I figure if I can tell a story I should, so I'll indulge myself and tell you all about the game experience heading into the black hole with a 64 year-old man that goes only by "Captain Bull" (I swear it).

The travel started early at 6am, much before I like to actually be awake.  After working until midnight the night before I sleepily made the drive down to Fairfield to pick up Captain Bull and make my way to the Amtrak station.  I was decked out in all the Raiders gear I could find in my apartment, and Captain Bull was wearing an ancient Raiders Super Bowl sweater and Raiders pajama pants.  We struck up conversation with a Cowboys fan awaiting the Amtrak to head for work who quickly made sure we understood that no matter how good our team was, Dak alone was the best thing to happen to football.  We heeded these words and made our way to the stadium.

Once we arrived at the concrete jungle we Raiders fans lovingly refer to as home (for now :( ) we set off in our journey to get as many free drinks as we could from tailgaters, as we had a good three hours to kill.  Now Captain Bull is a charismatic man, at about 6'0" and 350 lbs, a gnarly beard, and Raiders pajama pants, he is hard to miss.  We used this to our advantage as we went through the trenches, stopping at every table that had a full bar.  Now we would stop by these tables and then Captain Bull would talk to whoever was closest to each table and tell them of the game he went to and how Daryle Lamonica led the Raiders to a win in the last game he had been able to attend at the Coliseum.  The story involved a comeback that made it's way off television now colloquially referred to as the "Heidi Bowl."  This story ends in a Raiders win against the mighty Joe Namath, so it's a good story for all of us fans involved, which gave Captain Bull the perfect opportunity to insist that we toast to the memory.

  Much to my surprise this insistence actually led to us drinking a lot early in the morning as almost every tailgater loved the story and would either take shots with us or pour us a drink and laugh as we left.  I'd say we had at least 6-10 shots before the two hours we had to wait were up.


After enjoying ourselves in what Captain Bull referred to as a "festival of Raiders," we made our way into the stadium.  Now I've been to many NFL games, but before this every single one was at Candlestick Park.  O.Co may not be perfect, but this was as easy a process as I've ever had the pleasure to enjoy.  The security was there but they let Captain Bull and I through with a flask that we actually showed them beforehand.  The lines were long but moved swiftly.  We had luxury seating way up in the nose bleeds with a cocktail bar right below us, one in which the bartender poured two full shots in every drink.  Everyone there was truly partying, and the energy in the air was electric. Now when I heard we would be sitting on the third deck I was worried that we would be so far removed from the action that I'd hardly feel like I was at a game.  That wasn't true at all, in fact the seats were amazingly easy to see from.

I won't bore you all anymore by describing the game in detail, as I'm sure if you were interested in that you would have watched it on TV.  While I'm uncertain if it's due to my fandom of the Raiders, or just them being good this year, I am completely certain that the energy in O.Co for this Chargers game was something else.  During every Raiders defensive stand the whole crowd was on their feet. During the Coop touchdown the place was louder than anywhere I've ever been.  At one point there was a troop of blue angels that flew above the stadium, and you couldn't hear them over the crowd.  It was wonderful.

POWER RANKINGS

2016 Power Ranking: Week 5
Rank	Team / Record		Trending	Comments
1		Krusty Arnie Palmer 5-0	-- Last Week: 2nd	As much as I want to, I can no longer deny you this spot. #1 in points for and unbeaten. What I can deny you is full confidence that this means the season is already a win for you. We've seen this before, hell I think you've seen it before. I remember Matt during Manning's 2014 run, just dominant for most of the season. But when the playoffs came...
2		Bill Cosby's Sleepers 3-2	-- Last Week 1st	Dropped a game and dropped to second in points for. But when you were at the top there's no where to go but down. I think you've had some positives show up week 5 though. You know that David Johnson can still put up points even with Stanton behind center, and that's a nice thought.
3		The Game of Jones 4-1	-- Last Week: 3rd	I'm trying to remember a year where your team didn't look strong at some point, and honestly I can't. But then I'm also trying to remember a year where your team looked strong at every point, and honestly I can't.
4		Five Nights at Phillips 2-3	-- Last Week: 9th	Last week got you a win, and also catapulted you over most other teams for the points for tie-breaker. I don't like you sitting in my division with that sort of game out of nowhere.
5		Boldins Bastards 2-3	-- Last Week: 5th	I'm gonna leave you here, you lost without your best player and still managed to keep up with the points for. Not a terrible loss, and maybe Odell starts showing up again? We will see.
6		Deez Nuks 3-2	-- Last Week: 4th	I was thinking about dropping you a bit further, but luckily for you your record is going to hold your head above water for now.
7		Run 'N Hyde 2-3	-- Last Week: 6th	You got dropped after a win, and sometimes that's just the way it goes. You did beat the guy ahead of you (and personally I thank you for that), but 112 points won't always do. Hyde however is really being a consistent guy for you.
8		usko shipping 4-1	-- Last Week: 7th	You've only lost 1 game? Like for reals? Dude, I want to move you higher but you're team is only at 641 points. That's only 1 better than me and I'm 1-4. You best thank your lucky stars bud.
9		Greenbowl Packers 3-2	-- Last Week: 8th	Well, you got beat by a good team. Your record is good so that's a start, but I'd start thinking about picking up the points for pace if I were you.
10		The Blackstars 1-4	-- Last Week: 11th	That's what winning feels like. I can put myself here and not feel awful about it! 8th in points for, and only one less point than the 4-1 Yaro. Lordy.
11		Waiver Bros ** 1-4	-- Last Week: 10th	I'll be nice here and say it's probably just Eli's fault.
12		Dog Dont Mind 0-5	-- Last Week: 12th	You aren't out of the running yet, but I'll be honest I don't know what I'd do with your team.

ORY'S GAME OF THE WEEK!

Game of the WEAK

 My how the mighty have fallen… 2 years since they met each other in the championship game Jared (Dog don’t mind) and Nic (The black stars) met again. This time both 0-4 and both in need of a W.


With Tom Brady back under center Jared thought he had a chance. In a pre-game chat he was heard say “ I got this, Brady is back so I'm going to ride him like Giselle and get that win.” Nic was even more confident saying “Jared Grube, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!”

Brady started hot and stayed hot throwing for 400 yards and 3 TD’s… Unfortunately Bradys big game was not enough to get the win as the black stars CRUSHED Dog Don’t mind 106-160. Nic’s Team easily overpowered him behind the arm of Carr and the legs of Elliot to win this years Toilet bowl. Congrats Nic. You’re 1-4 now.

Week 4 Recap!

Week 4 is the day the music died.  And by music I mean my fantasy team.  It's hard to be excited at 0-4, and also honestly I didn't get to watch many of the games as I was busy driving home from San Luis Obispo the whole time.

What I can say is that there has been a bit of separation in our league, we have one 4-0 team left (Alex you punk), and 5 teams that are 3-1.  Nevermind, there's barely been any separation.

What I do know is that, even though Jared and I are in last place, we are three games behind 6th and only 4 games behind 1st.  With 9 weeks left that isn't insurmountable, but it also ain't easy.

Anyway, I'm gonna jump right into the meat and bones.

POWER RANKINGS

2016 Power Ranking: Week 4
Rank	Team / Record		Trending	Comments
1		Bill Cosby's Sleepers 3-1	-- Last Week 1st	Leading for points for and pulled out a win on your team's worst bye week. You also destroyed my goals and dreams. You're worse than your namesake.
2		Krusty Arnie Palmer 4-0	-- Last Week: 2nd	you haven't lost. AJ Green has done you well, but now Palmer is out and Hoyer is throwing to....? You're team is winning so don't mess with success, but it doesn't look amazing.
3		The Game of Jones 3-1	-- Last Week: 4th	How do you suppose your team is going to keep this up? 300 yds from Julio Jones? That's nuts. But whatever, enjoy it because you've seen how a late season surge can destroy an early contender...
4		Dank Hill 3-1	-- Last Week: 3rd	After a bad bad loss, you're still looking good so far, just don't pull weeks like that too often.
5		Boldins Bastards 2-2	-- Last Week: 7th	A steady rise throughout the season and a damn good week leave you 4th in points for. Also, I'm not sure exactly what you're name means but uh, it sounds good.
6		Run 'N Hyde 1-3	-- Last Week: 6th	You've had some bad luck. 1-3 but 5th in points for. It's still early so I'm gonna leave you up here, just don't lose much more okay?
7		usko shipping 3-1	-- Last Week: 7th	3-1, this reminds me of something similar that happened last year? Does it remind you?
8		Greenbowl Packers 3-1	-- Last Week: 9th	Wow! 3-1 and 10th in points for. That's great dude! Keep it going!
9		Five Nights at Phillips 1-3	-- Last Week: 10th	It's sad near the bottom, but you know what you've got more points for than a lot of the other teams.
10		Waiver Bros ** 1-3	-- Last Week: 11th	I'm not certain this movement up is good news for you or bad news for those of us below you...
11		The Blackstars 0-4	-- Last Week: 8th	Doot doot. Toilet bowl this week.
12		Dog Dont Mind 0-4	-- Last Week: 12th	Toilet Bowl!

GAME OF THE WEEK

BROUGHT TO YOU BY OREST YASLINSKIY

This week’s game of the week features Gary Meyer aka Boldins Bastards (Formerly known as rip some lips) V.S. Daniel Smiths Run N Hyde.

Brimming with confidence after his name change Daniel thought that the curse of having-a-team-named-after-a-player-that-was-not-on-his-roster would be lifted. It was not so… Gary on the other hand (Also sporting a fresh team name) had just strengthened his squad in dealing for the controversial Isaiah Crowell in a trade that had a lot of us scratching ourselves.

Gary Started out hot with Reed catching 2 TD’s and Ingram adding another. Smith thought he had a chance with his talented stable of WR’s but playing Cutler 2.0 ( Tannehill ) and leaving Wilson on the bench was his ultimate Downfall. Gary overcame a couple INT’s from Drew Brees to win it 168-145. P.S. Heed my warning and cut Tannehill now.

Week 3 2016!

Week 3 is in the books!  There are probably a lot of surprises, but you'll ask what are those surprises?  One, is that clearly I'm 0-3 and that's not good.  I looked up the data that I'm sure you'll want to know. According to CBS only 10% of teams on their apps that went 0-2 made fantasy playoffs.  Only 3% that went 0-3 went.  I'm willing to bet that's because of CBS being used very minimally for fantasy leagues.  They also don't understand just how good I am (maybe neither do I).

Many more injuries have happened, and I'll update that cool little table for y'all next week as it's more fun for me that way (I'm also on some janky internet at a hotel in SLO).  But I hope you guys will enjoy what I have for you in the Power Rankings and Game of the Week, as well as my interview.

POWER RANKINGS

2016 Power Ranking: Week 3
Rank	Team / Record		Trending	Comments
1		Bill Cosby's Sleepers 2-1	-- Last Week 3rd	Alex and Andrew are tied in record and PF, I'm not decoding that shit. So instead, Ory is #1 (YAY my opponent :/) as he has the highest PF. Congrats.
2		Krusty Arnie Palmer 3-0	-- Last Week: 1st	You still have a perfect record, but didn't have a great week. I won't discount you, but I will also say you're convincingly tied for 2nd in points for.
3		Dank Hill 3-0	-- Last Week: 2nd	Screw Matt Ryan dude. I can only be so impartial.
4		The Game of Jones 2-1	-- Last Week: 4th	Yeah you lost, but it was a respectable loss. Also, unless Coleman is dead your team can only get stronger. So far so good, keep it up.
5		Usko Shipping 2-1	-- Last Week: 5th	And you keep winning. You're actually 4th in points for. You've just lost some good stuff. It ain't nothing but a thing though.
6		Run 'N Hyde 1-2	-- Last Week: 7th	Your record isn't killing it, but you're at number 5 in points scored. Can't argue with that.
7		Rip Some Lips 1-2	-- Last Week: 9th	He lost through no fault of his own. Having the first ranked QB gives him some leeway, and you wait until Odell decides to stop hitting inanimate objects. It could be very very good.
8		The Blackstars 0-3	-- Last Week: 6th	I know I lost, but fuck y'all. I'm biased but the facts still state that this is exactly where I belong. And I'm writing all of these so...
9		Greenbowl Packers 2-1	-- Last Week: 11th	2-1 but maybe over-achieving? The luck could keep up. We shall see.
10		Five Nights at Phillips 1-2	-- Last Year: 9th	You've got Leveon on the way. Don't be scared/
11		Waiver Bros ** 1-2	-- Last Week: 10th	The good news is Charles might be alive still. If you ask Reid though, maybe not.
12		Dog Dont Mind 0-2	-- Last Year: 3rd	Can Brady and Gordon actually help?

Guest interviews with our #12 JARED GRUBE!!!

The questions I asked Jared this week are:

Which team in our league do you see underperforming after a hot start? 

 Which team do you think has the strongest potential to become dominant going forward?

• I see a ton of players underperforming. Idk about teams. This year has so far been so riddled with key injuries, really it's the teams that can handle that will most likely make the playoffs.

• I'm going to say my squad has the most potential going forward. With Gordon coming back looking to take away some of pryer targets, looking at you nick, and brady is going to be the season savior like he was for me last year. All that being said, dug myself a deep hole at 0-3...
• As far as underperforming teams, Alex. His squad has potential sleepers waiting to bust out that hasn't yet. And his studs have alternated great weeks for him. It will come together for his team, he could average 140 points going forward.

Side note, game of the week.  Does anyone have some time to put this forward?  I've been dead tired these weeks with a lot of new things going on and ESPN making me create my own power rankings.  If anyone can possibly do just a small write up on Game of the week than I can keep that going.  plz. plz.

Week 2 2016

2 weeks down.  11 more to go.

I'm thinking most of you have seen the whole "describe yourself in 3 fictional characters" deal going around on Instagram and Facebook.  Well let me take a moment to describe most teams in 3 fictional characters after week 2.

 

It remains to be seen exactly how the injury bug will affect all of the teams, but let's take a look and see who got it the worst.

Nic	Andrew	Val	Matt	Jared	Ory	Oscar	Alex	Jake	D Smith	Yaro	Yuriy
	Doug Martin	Danny Woodhead	Brandon Marshall	Thomas Rawls		Arian Foster	Donte Moncrief			Adrian Peterson	Doug Baldwin
	Ameer Abdullah										Jonathan Stewart
											Sammy Watkins

That's what I've got.  If I missed one let me know, but I don't believe I have. 

2016 Power Ranking: Week 2
Rank	Team / Record		Trending	Comments
1		Krusty Arnie Palmer 2-0	-- Last Year: 7th	A perfect record and the highest points for in the league. This punk keeps winning.
2		Dank Hill 2-0	-- Last Year: 10th	The Gomez bros are doing pretty well. Unbeaten (until the end of this week) and second highest in points for. Charles is on his way back though.
3		Bill Cosby's Sleepers 1-1	-- Last Year: 8th	Ory is the first beaten team here. He has the third highest points for in the league, and probably the best player to this point David Johnson.
4		The Gingers 2-0	-- Last Year: 5th	5th highest PF, but last place on speed of name change. Dalton ain't on your team anymore.
5		Usko Shipping 1-1	-- Last Year: 4th	Yaro lost his first round pick, but despite that Cam has led him to the 4th highest points for in the league. Guess that's pretty good.
6		The Blackstars 0-2	-- Last Year: 6th	Consistency is key, I'm right in the middle of the pack now, but no injuries and a score both weeks between 120-140.
7		Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood 0-2	-- Last Year: 2nd	Well, I take back what I said to Yuriy. Name is 2 years old and no team picture. 7th highest points for leads you here.
8		Philips Fine Dining 1-1	-- Last Year: 11th	Not a bad start, got in the win column. If Brandon Marshall is back quick this team can do some damage.
9		Rip Some Lips 1-1	-- Last Year: 12th	His first win in probably nearly a full year, he got in the W column. If he wins 2 more he's eclipsed his last year totals.
10		SSS's Waiver Bros 1-1	-- Last Year: 9th	If I put as much effort into this as you guys do updating team pictures and names
11		Greenbowl Packers 1-1	-- Last Year: 1st	Losing Woodhead this early is a big blow. But you've found a win, so it can get a bit better for ya.
12		Dog Dont Mind 0-2	-- Last Year: 3rd	Winless and last place in points for, I'm fairly certain this Dog Does Mind...

 ASK THE OWNERS!

Now for our guest sequence brought to you by none other than ALEX GOMEZ:

Now I asked him

1. Who has the best team and why?
2. Who has the worst team and why?

This was his answer...


I have been given the honor to determine who is the best and worst fantasy teams after 2 weeks of play. So let us start with the best...

Although it is clearly obvious that my team is the best (my record speaks for itself) it wouldn't be amusing to everyone else to toot my own horn. So a distant second in my opinion is...The Gingers! Yuriy is also 2-0 and he has an overall well rounded team so lets break it down...

QB: Big Ben plays with arguably the best WR in the game and he's about to get arguably the best RB back next week...I like it

RB: McCoy/Stuart/Coleman/Williams/Michael/Ajayi/Lewis - Williams is the best performing handcuff in da game and he still has 1 more game to go. Coleman is taking away work from Freeman and Lewis is a sneaky play once he gets back from injury. C-Mike is also chomping at the bit. Dis guys got depth 

WR: Jones/Baldwin/Watkins/Diggs - Solid WR1 and Diggs is becoming quite the WR2. Lacks depth but has solid starters

TE: Tamme off waivers seems legit bc the barn yard dog is not

Not going to talk about his K or DST but i have to ask why 2 DSTs? I figured the only reason you're carrying 2 DSTs is you wanna be an jerk and play keep away #sharethewealth 

HM: Bill Cosby Sleepers - dude almost ruined my perfect season so gotta give kudos...i dig his RB combo and Rodgers/Nelson bromance 

Now for the worst team in the league. Announcing this team as the worst really puts a smile on my face seeing how he is my division rival, that team of course being...Dog Don't Mind. So lets breakdown why Grubey sucks so hard...

QB: Brock Lobster hasn't been the best while you wait for Brady but your opponent (me) won't mind another week of mediocrity this week. 

RB: Lacy/Rawls/Thompson/Hill/White - The wheels on Rawls Royce seem to be falling off and Seattle's o-line is not helping. I have a negative bias towards Lacy but that fat guy is one cheeseburger away from eating the bench. Not even worth talking about the other RBs. 

WR: Evans/Tate/Cruz/Wallace/Jackson/Gordon - Your strongest position and give you props on believing in Wallace...better hope your faith in Flash Gordon also pays off

TE: Ebron is solid and Pitta was a nice WW find...now if only he can stay healthy

At least you have a solid kicker..

HM: GreenBowl Packers - Freeman was a bad choice...

Enjoy the read league mates...

 

 

Now normally I'd love to do game of the week, but setting up power rankings has taken me an hour and a half.  So this is it for week 2.  Enjoy!