Week 3 2016!

Week 3 is in the books!  There are probably a lot of surprises, but you'll ask what are those surprises?  One, is that clearly I'm 0-3 and that's not good.  I looked up the data that I'm sure you'll want to know. According to CBS only 10% of teams on their apps that went 0-2 made fantasy playoffs.  Only 3% that went 0-3 went.  I'm willing to bet that's because of CBS being used very minimally for fantasy leagues.  They also don't understand just how good I am (maybe neither do I).

Many more injuries have happened, and I'll update that cool little table for y'all next week as it's more fun for me that way (I'm also on some janky internet at a hotel in SLO).  But I hope you guys will enjoy what I have for you in the Power Rankings and Game of the Week, as well as my interview.

POWER RANKINGS

2016 Power Ranking: Week 3
Rank	Team / Record		Trending	Comments
1		Bill Cosby's Sleepers 2-1	-- Last Week 3rd	Alex and Andrew are tied in record and PF, I'm not decoding that shit. So instead, Ory is #1 (YAY my opponent :/) as he has the highest PF. Congrats.
2		Krusty Arnie Palmer 3-0	-- Last Week: 1st	You still have a perfect record, but didn't have a great week. I won't discount you, but I will also say you're convincingly tied for 2nd in points for.
3		Dank Hill 3-0	-- Last Week: 2nd	Screw Matt Ryan dude. I can only be so impartial.
4		The Game of Jones 2-1	-- Last Week: 4th	Yeah you lost, but it was a respectable loss. Also, unless Coleman is dead your team can only get stronger. So far so good, keep it up.
5		Usko Shipping 2-1	-- Last Week: 5th	And you keep winning. You're actually 4th in points for. You've just lost some good stuff. It ain't nothing but a thing though.
6		Run 'N Hyde 1-2	-- Last Week: 7th	Your record isn't killing it, but you're at number 5 in points scored. Can't argue with that.
7		Rip Some Lips 1-2	-- Last Week: 9th	He lost through no fault of his own. Having the first ranked QB gives him some leeway, and you wait until Odell decides to stop hitting inanimate objects. It could be very very good.
8		The Blackstars 0-3	-- Last Week: 6th	I know I lost, but fuck y'all. I'm biased but the facts still state that this is exactly where I belong. And I'm writing all of these so...
9		Greenbowl Packers 2-1	-- Last Week: 11th	2-1 but maybe over-achieving? The luck could keep up. We shall see.
10		Five Nights at Phillips 1-2	-- Last Year: 9th	You've got Leveon on the way. Don't be scared/
11		Waiver Bros ** 1-2	-- Last Week: 10th	The good news is Charles might be alive still. If you ask Reid though, maybe not.
12		Dog Dont Mind 0-2	-- Last Year: 3rd	Can Brady and Gordon actually help?

Guest interviews with our #12 JARED GRUBE!!!

The questions I asked Jared this week are:

Which team in our league do you see underperforming after a hot start? 

 Which team do you think has the strongest potential to become dominant going forward?

• I see a ton of players underperforming. Idk about teams. This year has so far been so riddled with key injuries, really it's the teams that can handle that will most likely make the playoffs.

• I'm going to say my squad has the most potential going forward. With Gordon coming back looking to take away some of pryer targets, looking at you nick, and brady is going to be the season savior like he was for me last year. All that being said, dug myself a deep hole at 0-3...
• As far as underperforming teams, Alex. His squad has potential sleepers waiting to bust out that hasn't yet. And his studs have alternated great weeks for him. It will come together for his team, he could average 140 points going forward.

Side note, game of the week.  Does anyone have some time to put this forward?  I've been dead tired these weeks with a lot of new things going on and ESPN making me create my own power rankings.  If anyone can possibly do just a small write up on Game of the week than I can keep that going.  plz. plz.

Week 2 2016

2 weeks down.  11 more to go.

I'm thinking most of you have seen the whole "describe yourself in 3 fictional characters" deal going around on Instagram and Facebook.  Well let me take a moment to describe most teams in 3 fictional characters after week 2.

 

It remains to be seen exactly how the injury bug will affect all of the teams, but let's take a look and see who got it the worst.

Nic	Andrew	Val	Matt	Jared	Ory	Oscar	Alex	Jake	D Smith	Yaro	Yuriy
	Doug Martin	Danny Woodhead	Brandon Marshall	Thomas Rawls		Arian Foster	Donte Moncrief			Adrian Peterson	Doug Baldwin
	Ameer Abdullah										Jonathan Stewart
											Sammy Watkins

That's what I've got.  If I missed one let me know, but I don't believe I have. 

2016 Power Ranking: Week 2
Rank	Team / Record		Trending	Comments
1		Krusty Arnie Palmer 2-0	-- Last Year: 7th	A perfect record and the highest points for in the league. This punk keeps winning.
2		Dank Hill 2-0	-- Last Year: 10th	The Gomez bros are doing pretty well. Unbeaten (until the end of this week) and second highest in points for. Charles is on his way back though.
3		Bill Cosby's Sleepers 1-1	-- Last Year: 8th	Ory is the first beaten team here. He has the third highest points for in the league, and probably the best player to this point David Johnson.
4		The Gingers 2-0	-- Last Year: 5th	5th highest PF, but last place on speed of name change. Dalton ain't on your team anymore.
5		Usko Shipping 1-1	-- Last Year: 4th	Yaro lost his first round pick, but despite that Cam has led him to the 4th highest points for in the league. Guess that's pretty good.
6		The Blackstars 0-2	-- Last Year: 6th	Consistency is key, I'm right in the middle of the pack now, but no injuries and a score both weeks between 120-140.
7		Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood 0-2	-- Last Year: 2nd	Well, I take back what I said to Yuriy. Name is 2 years old and no team picture. 7th highest points for leads you here.
8		Philips Fine Dining 1-1	-- Last Year: 11th	Not a bad start, got in the win column. If Brandon Marshall is back quick this team can do some damage.
9		Rip Some Lips 1-1	-- Last Year: 12th	His first win in probably nearly a full year, he got in the W column. If he wins 2 more he's eclipsed his last year totals.
10		SSS's Waiver Bros 1-1	-- Last Year: 9th	If I put as much effort into this as you guys do updating team pictures and names
11		Greenbowl Packers 1-1	-- Last Year: 1st	Losing Woodhead this early is a big blow. But you've found a win, so it can get a bit better for ya.
12		Dog Dont Mind 0-2	-- Last Year: 3rd	Winless and last place in points for, I'm fairly certain this Dog Does Mind...

 ASK THE OWNERS!

Now for our guest sequence brought to you by none other than ALEX GOMEZ:

Now I asked him

1. Who has the best team and why?
2. Who has the worst team and why?

This was his answer...


I have been given the honor to determine who is the best and worst fantasy teams after 2 weeks of play. So let us start with the best...

Although it is clearly obvious that my team is the best (my record speaks for itself) it wouldn't be amusing to everyone else to toot my own horn. So a distant second in my opinion is...The Gingers! Yuriy is also 2-0 and he has an overall well rounded team so lets break it down...

QB: Big Ben plays with arguably the best WR in the game and he's about to get arguably the best RB back next week...I like it

RB: McCoy/Stuart/Coleman/Williams/Michael/Ajayi/Lewis - Williams is the best performing handcuff in da game and he still has 1 more game to go. Coleman is taking away work from Freeman and Lewis is a sneaky play once he gets back from injury. C-Mike is also chomping at the bit. Dis guys got depth 

WR: Jones/Baldwin/Watkins/Diggs - Solid WR1 and Diggs is becoming quite the WR2. Lacks depth but has solid starters

TE: Tamme off waivers seems legit bc the barn yard dog is not

Not going to talk about his K or DST but i have to ask why 2 DSTs? I figured the only reason you're carrying 2 DSTs is you wanna be an jerk and play keep away #sharethewealth 

HM: Bill Cosby Sleepers - dude almost ruined my perfect season so gotta give kudos...i dig his RB combo and Rodgers/Nelson bromance 

Now for the worst team in the league. Announcing this team as the worst really puts a smile on my face seeing how he is my division rival, that team of course being...Dog Don't Mind. So lets breakdown why Grubey sucks so hard...

QB: Brock Lobster hasn't been the best while you wait for Brady but your opponent (me) won't mind another week of mediocrity this week. 

RB: Lacy/Rawls/Thompson/Hill/White - The wheels on Rawls Royce seem to be falling off and Seattle's o-line is not helping. I have a negative bias towards Lacy but that fat guy is one cheeseburger away from eating the bench. Not even worth talking about the other RBs. 

WR: Evans/Tate/Cruz/Wallace/Jackson/Gordon - Your strongest position and give you props on believing in Wallace...better hope your faith in Flash Gordon also pays off

TE: Ebron is solid and Pitta was a nice WW find...now if only he can stay healthy

At least you have a solid kicker..

HM: GreenBowl Packers - Freeman was a bad choice...

Enjoy the read league mates...

 

 

Now normally I'd love to do game of the week, but setting up power rankings has taken me an hour and a half.  So this is it for week 2.  Enjoy!

2016 week 1!

Week 1 has come and gone, and honestly could this have been any more predictable?  About the least predictable thing that happened was the 49ers scoring 28 points and holding their opponents to 0.  But as each season is bound to show up, there is always going to be a good week 1 showing by the 49ers followed by 15 weeks of mediocrity (how fun, me a lowly Raiders fan can finally talk shit about the 49ers).

I mean what can be said, AD has another bad week 1 to go with the rest over his career, Antonio Brown is a god, Gurley played like a girl, RG3 is on IR, and Tebow now plays baseball.  I'd rather hear about the exciting divisions.

Now as you all might have noticed, I've tried something slightly different with the way the schedule is set up this year.  Now the first 3 and last 3 weeks are devoted to division rivals.  These are the people that you need to beat to get into the playoffs, and I decided that the best way to add some heat was to make them set the tone early on and then finish it later.  Now here is a funny side effect of this, all of week 1's winners play each other in week 2.  All of the week 1 losers also play each other.  That means at the end of this week there will be 3 undefeated teams, and 3 winless teams (Thanks Jake!).

Now onto my new segment that will be going for the year (be prepared).

ASK THE OWNERS!!!!!!

Each week I will come up with questions to ask an owner, and each week it will be a new owner.  So please be prepared when you are called upon.

The first owner interviewed was Orest Yaslinskiy, 0 time champion.

I asked Ory 2 questions that went a little something like this:

Leaving Daniels house I remember thinking that I had the best draft class. I was full to the brim with confidence but I'm sure everyone feels that way after the draft but we will see as the season goes on. Jared and Nick always draft well so they are honorable mentions. I thought Val had some questionable picks... We all did so I won't get into that.

 Alex had some picks that were head scratchers. Not that he had a bad draft but because I could not understand the thought process behind them. Last year he picked Julio jones early when some good Rb's were still available. We thought that was odd but it worked out for him and this year everyone wanted a WR in the first round so I guess he's sorta a trend setter.

 I would also like to make a suggestion that next year if everyone is down we do an offline draft. I participated in one this year and they are tons of fun. Something to think about.

NO GAME OF THE WEEK, AND NO POWER RANKINGS

ESPN has made this much harder on me, so they are not prepared.  However, I hope very soon they will be.

Voting for next week's game of the week will happen now:

 

Regular season Recap

The playoffs are here.

For those of you that have made it, congratulations.  The invitation to the playoffs is for the 6 best teams in the league, whether it be through skill or luck.  The ticket to hopefully be a big winner and $550 dollars heavier.

For those of you in the loser's bracket.  Fear not, there is next year.  Please continue.  Also please, please remember that last place team (after the bracket has finished) will have their team name and logo for next year completely dictated by the winner of this bracket.  So play like your name depended on it, because it does.


THE OFFICIAL FINAL STANDINGS OF THE 2015 FOR REALS GUYS LEAGUE SEASON.

1ST PLACE: DOG DONT MIND 11-2
2ND PLACE: GREENBOWL PACKERS 8-5
3RD PLACE: THE GINGERS 8-5
4TH PLACE: GRONKIN UP SOMETHIN GOOD 7-6
5TH PLACE: MR. RODGERS NEIGHBORHOOD 7-6
6TH PLACE: BAG OF SUCK 7-6
7TH PLACE: FORTECAI AND DIGGSBY 6-7
8TH PLACE: BILL COSBY'S SLEEPERS 6-7
9TH PLACE: WEEKS OVER W/ BERNIE 6-7
10TH PLACE: SSS's WAIVER BROS 5-8
11TH PLACE: RANDY AND THE WR2S 4-9
12TH PLACE: RUCKERS RIP SOME LIPS 3-10

This is the official end of season standings.  There is however 3 more weeks of fantasy football to be played.  So for a couple of different little "achievements."

REGULAR SEASON POINTS LEADER:

 JARED GRUBE W/ 1898 POINTS SCORED.

REGULAR SEASON WORST LUCK!

JAKE YORKE W/  1761 POINTS AGAINST

 ON TO THE PLAYOFFS.

I'll be doing write-ups on all of the playoff games.  So enjoy this.  Celebrate if you need.  Good luck.

Week 12 Recap

I don't know if I would exactly call week 12 fun.  I mean, I'm sure that some of you enjoyed it but I'm not particularly happy.  


It's the very very last week of regular season.  There's some fun to be had, and well the last week will mean a lot.  So I'm just gonna jump into some things.  But first, let me drop in some fun I saw after this weeks Monday game. 

POWER RANKINGS

GAMES OF THE WEEK:

The Gingers versus Gronkin up Somethin Good

This was my exact face when I saw Gronk on the ground too.  First I want to say, WTF was that shit Yuriy?!  Sammy Shitkins and Calvin Johnshit?  For reals.  I think I'm too close to this one to objectively speak about it.  I knew it was coming though as soon as Megatron scored his second TD and it was cemented when Dez dropped his.  At least food was good for me this week.  Enjoy the win Yuriy, and just know that if you lose this next week you're toast.

Randy and the WR2s vs Bill Cosby's Sleepers

With a final score of 153-112 Ory officially killed Matt's playoff hopes once and for all.  Wilson threw up a 40 burger, Luke Kuechly destroyed Romo completely, and Matt would have won if he played Rivers and CJ Anderson.  That's the way it happens sometimes.  With Chris Johnson on IR and Demaryius Thomas not even on Brock's mind you might have tough sledding, but for now you're right in the thick of the hunt Ory.

Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood vs. Fortecai and Diggsby

A good matchup between two teams trying to stay in the playoffs.  Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood beat Fortecai and Diggsby 121 to 116.  Now there wasn't a lot of points sitting on Alex's bench, realistically the only way he could have won would be if he played Jeremy Hill instead of Forte (and by win, I mean tied).  The reality is that the reason Alex lost this game is because he traded Gates to D Smith and got Forte.  It's crazy because you would never expect that to come back to him, but here we are in week 12 and well, it happened.  Neither team  is a lock as of yet but D Smith has earned himself a chance to take fate into his own hand.

Bag of Suck vs. SSS's Waiver Bros

Jake, I imagine that gif might be a lot like what you're season must feel like.  I can't help but feel sorry but I have no true pity for a past champion.  Jake lost this matchup 116 to 111 and Yaro has somehow made his way into the playoffs.  I'd say congrats Yaro but I'm a little angry.  I will give you this, you benched a 40 burger.  AJ Green and Stevie Johnson saved your week, and Jordan Reed saved your season.  Don't sleep easy though, if you lose your next game you are done.

MATCHUPS TO WATCH WEEK 13

Gronkin up Somethin Good vs Randy and the WR2s

 If I win this game, I can make it into the playoffs.  I hold PF over Bag of Suck and Mr Rodgers Neighborhood.  If either of them lose and I win I can take the last spot back.

SSS's Waiver Bros vs Mr Rodgers Neighborhood

D Smith needs to win to stay in, if he loses and I or Ory win, D Smith can be eliminated.  His fate is in his and Jake's hand.

The Gingers vs Bag of Suck

This is a good one.  Outside of a tie, one of these teams can be kicked out of the playoffs.  Specifically if Yaro loses, then he'll most likely be out.

Weeks over w/ Bernie vs Fortecai and Diggsby

Alex and Andrew.  Andrew may not have the ability to make it into the playoffs (I actually don't know), but he can knock his brother out of the running.  If Alex loses he'll probably be knocked out.

Dog Dont Mind vs Bill Cosby's Sleepers

Ory needs to win this to maintain hope.  If he loses his playoff run is already over.


GOOD LUCK THIS WEEK.

Week 11 Recap

Welcome back to the Week 11 write up.  First I'd like to take one sentence to apologize for missing week 10 and allowing Fallout 4 to cut short week 9.  I mean, I'm okay with it but I would like to apologize.

Anyway, it's week 11.  There are two more weeks until the playoffs and there's a lot at stake.  The current playoff bracket is as such:

1) Dog Don't Mind (9-2)  (9-4 worst possible record).
2) Greenbowl Packers (7-4) (7-6) worst possible record).
3) The Gingers (6-5) (6-7 worst possible record).
4) Fortecai and Diggsby (6-5) (6-7 worst possible record).
5) Gronkin' Up Somethin Good (6-5) (6-7 worst possible record).
6) Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (6-5) (6-7 worst possible record).

As you can see, if you have 8 losses you are now officially out of playoff running.  I'm sorry dad :(. However, if you don't and you can win out then there is a lot on the line for you.  I'll point out what, to me, are the key matchups of this next week.

Gronkin Up Somethin Good vs The Gingers:

While neither team will be out with a loss, someone has to lose.  The team that does will have seeding hopes potentially lost and be one step closer to being knocked out of the playoffs at 6-6.

Randy and the WR2s vs Bill Cosby's Sleepers

Ory is on the cusp of the playoffs at 5-6, Matt is hoping someone loses out at 4-7.  Matt has the hot team with a ton of points and absolutely zero luck while Ory just needs to win some games.  This is a battle for positioning to make a late strike.  Loser of this may just have to consider themselves out of the playoffs.

Mr Rodgers Neighborhood vs Fortecai and Diggsby

Both 6-5, both battling for wild card spots (maybe a division leader with D Smith).  The loser of this isn't out of the playoffs, but they'll be coming close to it. 

Bag of Suck vs SSS' Waiver Bros

Jake may have taken many hits and blows, but he hasn't been eliminated.  Meanwhile Yaro sits at 6-5 and just one spot out of the playoffs.  With a loss of a 6-5 team and a Yaro win he has found himself suddenly sitting in the bracket.  This one will be interesting.

POWER RANKINGS

So, I'm not doing a game of the week.  In part because I didn't put up a poll last week, and in part because I plan on doing write-ups in all the matches posted above.  I hope you enjoyed what you read.  Good luck guys.

Week 9 Recap

So, you guys are going to hate this write-up.  I just got Fallout 4, so I'm very excited to try that but cannot ignore my weekly duties to post this.  So instead, I'm going to post a short one.  Try and get mad, but remember Fallout 4.

Anyway, no one is eliminated from playoffs yet.  If Andrew loses one more he will be, or if either Me or Yuriy win one more.  Fun fact of the week is:

• Jake has been screwed.  Injuries, absolutely, schedule also.  He has the most PA by more than 100.  He leads that category by more than 200 in his division.
• Yuriy has the least PA of anyone in the top 6.  No one has more than 1200.  
• Matt and Jake each have more than enough points to win tie-breakers.

POWER RANKINGS

GAME OF THE WEEK

FALLOUT 4.  I'LL BE GUILTY AND ADD TO THIS TOMORROW.  UNTIL THEN, THANKS FOR READING.