WEEK 9 RECAP

The week of double digits. 5 games left until the playoffs. That gives some wiggle room to the teams that are struggling to stay afloat, but not much. We have two 7-2 teams (Matt and Gary) that are almost locks to get into the playoffs. They could theoretically lose out and go 7-7, but that might still let them into the playoffs. Then we have Alex at 6-3, who needs to win at least once to have a chance, but probably 2 more wins and is good. Then at 5-4 we have myself, Jake, and Yuriy. That gives us 6 out of 6. The three of us at 5-4 are not safe whatsoever and likely will want to win 3 out of 5 to feel good. Jake and myself hold tiebreakers over everyone else at the moment, and those may come into play. Now my speculation means you’ll want at least 7 wins but ideally 8 to get into the playoffs. That is a tall order for those of you at 3-6. I would recommend doing WHATEVER you need to do to win each week. Trade pieces that do not work for you now, because later it won’t matter if you wait.

Weekly Awards

Best Manager

Nic of Tone’s Herb Seasoning and Gary of Rip Lips both set their best possible lineup.

Worst Manager

Yuriy of the Goo Backs got destroyed by his bench and could have scored an additional 50.9 points.

Biggest Blowout

Rip Lips 152.96 vs Greenbowl Packers 89.86

Gary got wildly lucky in his matchup playing Elijah Moore and Kenyan Drake as spot starts for his decimated roster. OF COURSE they would do great and he would get a win. He also just blew the doors off of Val’s team, even though Val looked like he was making all the right moves. Sometimes it goes that way, but my dad CANNOT keep getting away with this! He wins by a margin of 63.1 points.

Narrow Victory

Fly Boyds 124.88 vs Goo Backs 106.72

Matt and the Fly Boyds flew to victory over the Goo Backs by 18.16 points. It was a week full of blowouts and that led to this being the closest matchup. Honestly Matt, I’m also a little confused about how your team has done so well. 7-2 is not easy and I just don’t really get it. But whatever. Yuriy, you’ll be seeing a lot about Edmonds and Conner so just be ready. At least CMC looks good in his return, and he gets Cam Newton back.

Highest Score (And Overachiever):

Alex’s Football Cream dropped 153.78 points and overshot their expected point total scoring 120.6% of projected. Somehow in a week where everyone did poorly you did well. This was Tom Brady’s bye week L.

Lowest Score (And Underachiever):

Ory, Daniel, and the Colt 49’s promptly showed what Derrick Henry met and had the lowest score of the week making only 57% of their projected. I’m sorry, not only did losing Henry stink but no one decided to step up in his place. At least there is Waller.

QB of the Week:

Lamar Jackson of the Auto Draft Machines with 36.64 points.

RB of the Week:

James Conner of the Goo Backs with 40.3 points.

WR of the Week:

Elijah Moore of Rip Lips with 27.4 points.

TE of the Week:

Pat Freiermuth of the Football Creams with 21.3 points. SIGH The Muth is luth.

QB Benchwarmer:

Matt Ryan of the 5 Yard Fullers with 32.52 points.

RB Benchwarmer:

James Conner of the Goo Backs with 40.3 points (OUCH).

WR Benchwarmer:

Marquise Brown of the Fresno Browns Streaks with 20.6 points.

TE Benchwarmer:

Jared Cook of the Greenbowl Packers with 10.8 points.

BOGUS and Bizarre Roster Spots and Statistics

Nic

Dallas CRUMBLED and their D/ST and Kicker scored 0. This is a lesson on putting too much faith into one team.

Andrew

Playing Tommy Sweeney can only be seen as one thing - desperate. Wildly desperate.

Alex

What's going on with Aaron Jones? He's like the only Packers star without COVID and still one of the most impacted by it.

Pender

Tyrod Taylor had just about the worst day a QB can have. 3 picks! No TDs! What happened to T-Mobile? 

Matt

Will you ever be able to actually figure out when to play Tyler Boyd?

Val

The way the Raiders use Bryan Edwards is infuriating! This guy is a good WR and could be good but they just don't use him. He gets like a desperation heave once and a while. He could be a fantastic possession receiver. I fell for this too for many weeks. I dunno, just don't trust the Raiders.

Gary

Elijah Moore? Kenyan Drake? Cordarelle Patterson? What sort of witch craft are you doing?! And I'm your son! Let me in on it please.

Yuriy

Chase Edmonds going out on the first play was disastrous. James Conner scoring 40 after that was debilitating. I was going to really go into it, but I just feel bad for you. Rodgers could not have helped.

Jake

The DJ Moore drop-off has been unreal and unfortunate. Do you think that Cam coming back can actually help him? This guy is cursed.

D-Smith

Noah Fant was inactive my guy! You had the Ertz! You're missing them Sunday morning checks, and it shows. 

Ory and  Daniel 

Patrick Mahomes sucks. The Chiefs suck. I've been saying this for years, and I will reap the vindication that it was not just homerism. Cover 2 Shell was all it took to bring the mighty down. Andy Reid was fired from Philly for a reason. 

Cone

Chris! That's two weeks with inactive players in the lineup and replacement players on your bench. I quote the rules here: "All franchises are responsible to make sure their lineups are updated before kickoff of the first game of the week. No exceptions will be made. If longer than 2 weeks go by without lineup changes, the owner may be subject to banning." So please, play full lineups my guy!

POWER RANKINGS:

1. Gary (Previously Ranked 5) (Made it here through voodoo magic)
2. Alex (Previously ranked 6)
3. Nic (Previously ranked 2)
4. Jake (Previously ranked 3)
5. Matt (Previously ranked 1)
6. Yuriy (Previously ranked 4)
7. Cone (Previously ranked 7)
8. Andrew (previously ranked 10)
9. Val (Previously ranked 9)
10. Pender (Previously ranked 8)
11. D-Smith (Previously ranked 11)
12. Ory and Daniel (Previously ranked 12)

Week 8 Recap

Quick update

Missed last week due to travelling and midterms. Likely won’t miss another week.

Did it feel like a down week this week? That’s because, it was! Looking at week 7 we had a total of 1577.9 points (131.49 average per team), and that was with many high profile bye weeks. Week 8 however we only saw 1448.62 points scored (120.72 average per team), a loss of 129 points from starting lineups with many players back from bye. Pretty radical swing. We’ve also lost a few stars to injury, covid, or other things. I also would like to point out some interesting Win/Loss ratio things.

The top 3 teams in Points for have a combined W/L ratio of 11-13. Regression? The bottom 3 teams are 12-12. Scheduling luck is very, very important. So far we have played our own divisions and we are now in the midst of playing against the other division. All 4 of the top playoff seeded teams right now are in the bottom half of the league in points for. So, I am predicting some large changes in playoff standing by the end of the season. Speaking of which, we are in week 9. There are 14 regular season weeks left. So far no one has more than 5 losses, which would mean that almost everyone is still in the hunt. If you need proof you can make the playoffs, just read what I wrote above.

Weekly Awards

Best Manager

Gary of Rip Lips with no additional points possible. Pictured above, Gary's bench.

Worst Manager

Cone of Fresno Browns Streaks, leaving in Dak and Jamaal and missing out on an easy to find 28.4 points on his bench.

Highest Score (And Overachiever)

Football Cream with a score of 163.7 points, which was 129.4% of their projection.

Lowest Score (And Underachiever)

5 Yard Fullers came out needing another 5 yards, scoring only 77.36 or 55.1% of their projected total.

Biggest Blowout

Football Cream decimated the 5 Yard Fullers by 86.34 points with an ending score of 163.7 to 77.36. So what is there to say? Pender’s team COMPLETELY fell apart and Alex had a good showing. Alex had the best showing of the week, on a week with a substandard score. I think it speaks volumes to Alex’s desperation that he had to play Lockett this week after all those duds he has thrown up, and the fact that he now has 10 tight ends on his roster. Pender, it can’t always be that bad… Can it?

Narrow Victory

Matt and the Fly Boyds managed to skirt disaster and defeated Jake and DonGodwin’s Underdogs by 8.1 points with a final score of 162.36 to 154.26. Jake ends with the 3^rd highest score of the week and ends up losing to the 2^nd highest score of the week. Way of the road bubs. Matt’s team is led by… Michael Carter and Brandin Cooks? What is going on here? Players on the Jets and the Texans? Gross. Somehow, someway both teams had solid weeks but Matt improves to the… 1^st seed?!?! This guy is 8^th in points for and the top seed! HE CANNOT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!

QB of the Week

Josh Allen of Rip Lips with 33.46 points.

RB of the Week

Michael Carter of Fly Boyds with 32.2 points.

WR of the Week

AJ Brown of the Goo Backs with 31.5 points

TE of the Week

TJ Hockenson of Fly Boyds with 18.9 points.

QB Benchwarmer

Tua Tagovailoa of the Fresno Browns Streaks with 15.2 points

RB Benchwarmer

Elijah Mitchell of the Meyer’s Slayers (and now guilty of Fratricide as well) with 19.7 points.

WR Benchwarmer

Tyler Boyd, namesake and mascot of the Fly Boyds, with 19.74 points.

TE Benchwarmer

Pat Freiermuth of the Football Cream with 14.4 points. Please do not make me spell that last name again. Too many “e’s” in not enough space.

BOGUS AND BIZARRE STATS and STARTS

Nic

Emmanuel Sanders dropped a gigantic 0.0 points in my lineup. That went pretty well with Justin Herbert’s awful day. BUMS, the lot of ‘em!

Daniel

It’s easy to be critical of the team that beat you. Damien Williams is awful and scored negative points for you. That means over the last few weeks he’s been a wildly negative part of your team. That’s cool! Also, thanks for beating me with a defense on bye. I love to see a punted position and still lose.

Alex

Tyler Higbust! Look I can see how concerned you are about your TE positon. You’ve got a ton on your roster and they are all actual dart throws. The Muth can’t save you any more than Higbust. Players in the league, this guy is ripe for trading! You got a TE, I recommend offering it to Alex right now.

Pender

Russell Disengage with 0.0 points. What a shame. Like what happened here? Tajae Sharp?! Ridley is gone and it actually makes the other pieces of the offense just worse. Disappointing, but I guess that’s the story of your whole team.

Matt

Michael Carter. He did great for you, don’t get me wrong. I just have him listed here because I am so mad that this is the same dude I drafted that looked like straight garbage to start the year. Oh well.

Jake

Sam Darnit. This guy is a bad QB. His biggest problem is that he made it seem like he was okay at the beginning of the year. Well, he fooled ya. This is kind of double for you because it also seriously impacts your play of DJ Moore.

Val

Travesty Kelce and the Kansas City Chefs are looking like they’re cooking nothing but eggs and they are smelling sulfurous. By that I mean, I’m so happy that these guys are finally being figured out. Remember, Andy Reid was fired from the Eagles after losing a super bowl because he could never quite pull it together again. Time is a flat circle and the Chiefs are garbage.

Andrew

Big Mo Allie Cox. You can’t teach size, and apparently you can’t teach Carson Wentz how to hit a giant with a football consistently. Just when you thought Dawson Knox was here to save you, you’re back in the wasteland.

Gary

Calvin Ridley. Puzzling really. When was the last time we saw someone step away for mental health reasons of their own accord? We’ve seen it happen with TO and Antonio Brown, but not because they chose to. Hope the guy is doing well.

Cone

Dak and Jamaal both did not play and ended up in your starting lineup. Now, you would not have won with them but, not a good look. You gotta tighten up ship if you wanna win a ‘ship.

Yuriy

Mike Williams is infuriating because he needs to be good so Herbert can also be good. These last few weeks have been godawful for him, and honestly do you think he turns it around? Also lol @ Bucs D/ST for throwing up a -1 with Jameis and Trevor Semian throwing the ball. It’s wild that they could get that low.

Ory and Daniel

So there’s really nothing bogus, just sad sad sad.  RIP 2021 Derrick Henry’s fantasy campaign, it was great while he was around. Then all I will say about Henry Ruggs III is, RIP Tina Tintor of Las Vegas.

POWER RANKINGS

1. Matt (Previously Ranked 6)
2. Nic (Previously Ranked 2)
3. Jake (Previously Ranked 1)
4. Yuriy (Previously Ranked 7)
5. Gary (Previously Ranked 8)
6. Alex (Previously Ranked 9)
7. Cone (Previously Ranked 3)
8. Pender (Previously Ranked 5)
9. Val (Previousy Ranked 11)
10. Andrew (Previously Ranked 10)
11. Daniel (Previously Ranked 12)
12. Ory and Daniel (previously Ranked 4)